


no amount of money

by babyweis



Series: tears and sugar [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Age Swap, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Cheating, F/M, Family Issues, Homophobia, M/M, idk what to tag, in the past lmao, in the past too, jooheon is in a rockband and has a cool motorbike, look i'm capable of those, main!hyunghyuk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-09-15 05:50:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16927626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyweis/pseuds/babyweis
Summary: At the age of nineteen, Minhyuk finds himself a young but rich sugar daddy to pay for his studies. When their ways eventually part, he doesn't exactly expect to see the guy again, much less in his own childhood home when he goes to visit his family over holidays.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> lord okay
> 
> this was supposed to be a oneshot but i'm currently 7k in and it's barely starting out so i just decided to turn the whole thing into a chaptered fic. the updates are probably going to be fast at the beginning since i have the first few chapters written, but after that? who knows! i'll try to be active though lmao. 
> 
> someone's parents are always assholes in my fics for some reason and minhyuk always has to suffer i apologize but!!! this one will have a happy ending i swear on mx's name
> 
> NOTICE: as the story processes, there will be homophobic slurs used, as well as descriptions of bullying and violence (mostly in flashbacks) along with other possible sensitive themes. sex is also a very common topic. if you're uncomfortable with such, i suggest being careful with reading. 
> 
> please tell me if there's anything you think i should add in the tags or maybe change the rating!
> 
> okay now enjoy

 

 

Spending time with his family isn't exactly what Minhyuk would call an ideal Christmas, for several reasons.

He'd already been invited over by Kihyun and Hoseok, and the couple have pretty much been his best friends ever since he moved to Seoul five years ago. Plus, Kihyun's home cooked meals are to _die_ for. They live just a few blocks away from his apartment, too, and he knows exactly what kind of presents to get for them.

Now, Minhyuk isn't really in good relations with his family. When he was thirteen, his father remarried after getting over his first wife's - Minhyuk's mother's - death from years ago. Minhyuk never got along with his stepmother. She's bossy, nosy, and was raised in a conservative household, for why she doesn't really appreciate Minhyuk's outrageous homosexuality.

And she has a daughter. Of course she does, because apparently Minhyuk has been destined to live in a modern adaption of Cinderella (that still, unfortunately, lacks his own Prince Charming). His stepsister is just as big of a nightmare as her mother, if not worse - Minhyuk can forgive a lot of things, but outing him and his first boyfriend in front of the whole school isn't one of them.

Sure, Minhyuk still has his father. They don't hate each other, or anything. They can talk like normal family members without spitting malicious words at each other, or sit in the same room for a few hours without getting sick of the way the other is breathing. But regardless, Minhyuk still knows he is sort of a disappointment to his father - his only biological child, who won't be continuing his bloodline. The son, who rather goes out shopping for clothes and makeup than watches a baseball game. The son, who dyed his hair blonde in high school and came home one day with his nails painted black. The son, who decorated his room's walls with posters of male celebrities and brought home a boy with a fierce red hair and chains hanging on his belt instead of a nice, pretty girl.

So yes, Minhyuk would rather stay in Seoul, spend his Christmas with his friends instead of taking a train to the other side of the country to stay in his childhood home with a family who doesn't enjoy his company. But it's not like he has a choice, because his father called him and asked him to come like he does every year, and so he gives Kihyun and Hoseok their presents on the nineteenth of December, packs his things and takes a bus to the train station. Kihyun and Hoseok give him his present from them along with a tight hug and a lunchbox that's filled to the brim.

Minhyuk eats half of the insides of the lunchbox as he sits in the train, tries to hold himself back from opening the present. It's fairly big, the wrapper golden and the bowtie white, perfectly tied together, and Minhyuk knows it's been done by Kihyun, just like he knows that the drawing and neat handwriting on the card are Hoseok's. It's mostly thanks to how beautifully the package is put together that he's able to stop himself from tearing it open. He stuffs it in one of his bags along with the lunchbox when the train finally reaches his stop and rushes out so he doesn't miss like he did last year.

His father is waiting for him.

"Minhyuk," he says, pulling him into a hug and patting him in between his shoulder blades, "it's good to see you. Have you grown taller?"

"Good to see you too, dad," Minhyuk tells him, returns the hug and lets him take one of his bags to his hands. "I doubt not. I'm twenty-three, you know. People don't grow at my age anymore."

"Well, maybe I'm just getting smaller then," his father says, heaving the bag over his shoulder and leading him towards his '97 Hyundai Avante. "The consequences of nearing my sixties."

They put the bags in the trunk. Minhyuk grins. "You just turned fifty. Don't be dramatic."

"That's what Kyungja keeps telling me," the older man grunts, shutting the trunk and making his way to the driver's seat. Minhyuk ignores the mention of his stepmother and slides in the passenger seat, buckling in his seatbelt. The familiar humming of the engine as the car starts makes him feel nostalgic, and he silently admits to himself that maybe he kind of misses home, every now and then.

The home before his stepmother and -sister, when it was just him and his father, and the picture of his mother on top of the fireplace. He would miss his mother, too, but it's hard to miss someone who he doesn't even remember. He was barely two years old when she passed away.

"You're never getting rid of this thing, are you?" he asks, running his hand on the worn dashboard. His father scoffs.

"Never," he says. "It's going to follow me to my grave."

"You're going to need a very big grave."

The older man rolls his eyes with a smile on his face and clicks the radio on as he pulls away from the parking lot and takes off to the road. Minhyuk perks up as they pass by the familiar buildings and streets, presses his forehead against the window when his old elementary school comes to sight.

"Have you seen Hyunwoo's parents around?" he asks when they pass by his former friend's childhood home.

"They moved away in July," his father replies. Minhyuk raises an eyebrow and slumps back on his seat.

"Where?"

"Andong. Hyunwoo lives there with his wife now, too."

The word _wife_ has a strange emphasis on it. Minhyuk chews on his lower lip and pretends that he doesn't notice, drumming his fingers against his knee.

"I didn't know he's married."

"He has been for a few years, I think," his father says. They reach the centre, and the car is stopped on one of the rare red lights of the small town. "It's a shame you two lost contact."

"Yeah," Minhyuk sighs, returning his attention back to the window. The town seems to get more quiet each time he visits, the streets a tad bit emptier, even during the holiday season. A group of teens crosses the street, the light turns green, and the car takes off again. Minhyuk smiles lightly at the old café in the corner of the street, the one he used to go to all the time when he was in high school.

"Sunhee is actually engaged, too."

Minhyuk fights off the frown that appears at the mention of his stepsister and shuffles around on his seat to get more comfortable, casting a glance at his father. "She is?"

"Yes. Her fiancé is a really nice young man. He's actually staying over with her."

"Wow," Minhyuk says. It comes out sounding much harsher than he intended, but his father doesn't comment on that. Minhyuk is grateful for that. He doesn't want to explain himself by going in a deep analysis about how Sunhee most likely has already grown a big amount of prejudices against him in her fiancé's mind. Not that he really cares about what the guy thinks of him, but he already gets his daily dose of bullshit from Sunhee and her mother, and doesn't need anything more.

They drive past his old high school. The gates look higher than what he remembers, his mind going back to flashes of climbing over it to skip classes and then running for his dear life after hearing the history teacher yell after him in the yard. Or, after them. He wonders if Jooheon and Changkyun are up for a small get-together like last year. He probably should give them both a call.

"You know," his father speaks up again, "every time I see you, you look more and more like your mother."

Minhyuk blinks, and involuntarily sneaks a glance at his reflection on the window, thinking back to the few pictures he has seen of his mother in the past years. He's sure she was a lot prettier than what he is. "Is that a bad thing?"

"No," his father says. "She would be proud."

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
There's a shiny black Mercedes-Benz on their yard. Minhyuk stares at it as his father parks his car next to it, his mouth suddenly dry. The car looks familiar. He can't exactly pinpoint how or where he has seen it, but he's positive it's something more than just an unknown vehicle passing by him on a street.

His father tells him it's Sunhee's fiancé's car as he turns off the Hyundai's engine and gets out to grab Minhyuk's luggage from the trunk. Minhyuk unbuckles his seatbelt and follows him, shifts his weight from one foot to another as he grabs his suitcase and lowers it down to the snowy pavement, all the while staring at the license plate of the Mercedes. He's never really paid much attention to cars. They're not just his thing. Which is why it's even more strange that the vehicle makes him feel all jittery and brings memories that are nearly on the tip of his tongue but not _exactly_.

He's just trying to think if one of his co-workers perhaps has the same car, when his father slams the trunk shut and strides over to the front door with Minhyuk's bag thrown over his shoulder. Minhyuk frowns, his bubble of thoughts bursting, and slowly follows after him with his suitcase clattering against the ground.

The scent of a stew being cooked welcomes them in the hall, along with a faint breeze of citrus. The familiar scent of _home_ is hidden somewhere underneath, and Minhyuk tries to suppress his disappointment as he kicks his shoes off and places them neatly on the shoerack (he still has nightmares of the time his stepmother forced him to clean the entire hall because he didn't keep his shoes _organized_ ).

"We're home!" his father calls out to the house, arranging his shoes next to Minhyuk's as he does so. Minhyuk shakes his jacket off his shoulders and casts his eyes down to his feet as his stepmother scurries out from behind the corner.

"Oh, how lovely," she says, but her tone doesn't really match her words. "How was your trip, Minhyuk?"

"It was fine."

"Good. Hyunsuh, dear, how about you take his luggage to his room? Sunhee wants to introduce him to Hyungwon."

Minhyuk nearly trips over his own feet, regaining his balance on the last minute and somehow saving himself from looking like a complete idiot. He looks at his stepmother, and then at his father, who already is dragging his stuff down the corridor. "H-Hyungwon?" he repeats.

"Sunhee's fiancé," his father explains to him, seeming like he doesn't catch the way Minhyuk stutters. "I told you about him."

"Yeah," Minhyuk says, weakly. "Right."

"Come on, then," his stepmother says, disappearing around the corner again. Minhyuk has to take a minute before following her, dragging his feet across the floor so slowly it feels painful even to him, but he needs the time to think.

Suddenly, it clicks. Hyungwon - _Chae Hyungwon_ \- he's the one who had the car like the one on the outside. He's the one with the black Mercedes. How did Minhyuk not remember? He's _had sex_ in the backseat of that car.

Not _that_ car, he corrects himself right away, exhaling loudly as he turns around the corner and pads his way towards the kitchen door. There are hundreds of cars like those, and hundreds of Hyungwons in South-Korea. It's a funny coincidence, but that's also all that it is. A coincidence. It's not like the actual Chae Hyungwon is standing in his childhood home's kitchen and getting married to his stepsister. Things like that just don't happen.

Except that they do.

Minhyuk stops at the doorway and visibly pales, gripping at the doorframe with one hand as he stares. Chae Hyungwon, in all his glory, stares straight back at him, leaning against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed across his chest, wearing a white dress shirt with his blonde hair stylishly parted on his forehead. The engagement ring on his left hand glimmers underneath the kitchen lights.

 _Good god,_ Minhyuk thinks, _I_ did  _have sex in that car._

"It's wonderful to see you, Minhyuk," Sunhee chirps with a fake cheerful tone, striding over to hook her arm with Hyungwon's. Minhyuk stares. "Here, meet my fiancé. Hyungwon, meet my stepbrother, Minhyuk."

"Hey," Hyungwon says, flashing a smile as if Minhyuk really was just a stranger, just his fiancée's younger stepbrother. Minhyuk digs his nails on the material of the doorframe before dropping his hand down, wiping it on his jeans on the process.

"Hey," he says.

Hyungwon must have already seen his pictures around the house - the one on top of the fireplace, taken on the day he graduated from high school. He's probably had time to prepare himself for the encounter, Minhyuk reasons. After all, he can't have _forgotten_ , even if the thing between the two of them might not be the ideal love story. Frankly speaking, it's not a love story at all - the word love was never present. (That's what Minhyuk has been telling himself, anyway.) Their first meeting was embarrassing - Minhyuk realizing that he'd forgotten his wallet at home at the cash register while buying groceries and Hyungwon, the next in the line, dressed in an outfit that probably cost more than Minhyuk's monthly rent, offered to pay for him. Afterwards, he asked if Minhyuk needed a ride home, and despite all the alarms going off with Kihyun's voice screaming _stranger danger_ in his head, Minhyuk said yes.

It was a good thing, that he said yes. He was nineteen, and broke, and lonely, and tired of always either studying or working, and Hyungwon offered him solutions. Paid for his studies, bought him presents in the side, spent time with him. It was nice. Minhyuk lived the sugar baby life to the fullest for three years, which was a _long_ time, and so it might also have stung a little when the two of them eventually parted ways. And it wasn't just because of Hyungwon's money. It was about _Hyungwon_.

And so he'd like to believe that Hyungwon hasn't forgotten, in the past year that they spent without seeing each other.

He'd also very much like to believe that this scene unfolding right before isn't real, and that Hyungwon actually isn't standing there, with Sunhee on his side, getting married to her in... whenever they are planning to do so. That's just absurd. Hyungwon doesn't like pretentious, homophobic girls. Hell, Hyungwon is queer himself! He'd literally fucked Minhyuk in the ass probably hundreds of times. Why would he be with someone like Sunhee?

"You look very pale, brother," Sunhee says, peering at him, "are you sick?"

"I'm fine," Minhyuk says, even though he definitely feels like he's going to be sick at any minute. He looks at Hyungwon, only to see him looking elsewhere, and then he leaves the kitchen without a word, locks himself up in the bathroom for the next fifteen minutes.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mama made me cry for several reasons i mean mx's own performances?? the one w/got7?? hoseok's hair?? the wIN??? i'm so proud holy shit i didn't even watch it live because the stream never works for me no matter what server i use but lord (i can't believe they cut hyunghyuk's tit grab part from the choreo though like the dance break was fire but hey-)
> 
> anyways enough of me rambling here's chapter 2!!

 

  
The dinner is horrifying.

Minhyuk takes a seat right where he always does when he's home, and regrets it right away, because the only free seat is across from him and eventually, Hyungwon takes it. Sunhee is, obviously, sitting next to him, her chair dragged a lot closer than necessary, and Minhyuk finds himself getting annoyed over it.

It's nothing new. He gets annoyed by _everything_ she does. He just finds everything unsettling and strange now that Hyungwon is sitting there right across from him, wearing the expensive engagement ring. At least, Minhyuk assumes it's expensive - it looks like it's pure gold and the small jewel on it looks very much real, and again, it's _Hyungwon_. Everything about Hyungwon always screams expensive. If he, back then, was ready to waste his money on a boy he barely knew for sex and company, then he probably isn't going to get anything sort of cheap for his fiancée.

Minhyuk picks at his food, shoves one small piece in his mouth and keeps staring at his plate. His stepmother, sitting next to him and across from Sunhee, is gossiping about her old friend whose teenage daughter apparently got pregnant.

"It's just impossible how the youth is nowadays," she sighs, and then musters up a smile and looks at her daughter and Hyungwon. "I'm glad my Sunhee is a smart girl, getting married for a fine man, too."

Minhyuk almost snorts, but holds it back at the last minute. He glances up to see Hyungwon smiling. It doesn't really look genuine to him, more a little uncomfortable, and he thinks, _good_.

"So," he finally speaks up on his own, "speaking of which, when did you two meet?"

"August," Sunhee chirps lightly, "on a blind date, actually. I must say I was a little hesitant to go on such, but it was a pleasant surprise, as you can see! Oh, our wedding date hasn't been planned yet, but you will of course be invited, brother."

"Wonderful," Minhyuk says. He reaches over the table and scoops more vegetables onto his plate, even though he barely has touched the food that's already there. He knows Hyungwon is staring at him. He can _feel_ his gaze prickling at his skin. He kind of wants to comment on it, as some kind of a revenge for the fact that Hyungwon is keen on acting like they are total strangers to each other, but he holds it, not wanting to be too petty.

He understands, in a way, though. It probably would be strange for Hyungwon to tell Sunhee, _hey, I actually used to be your stepbrother's sugar daddy a while back._ Scratch that, it _definitely_ would be weird. But that doesn't mean the whole situation really sits right with Minhyuk.

He still can't understand what Hyungwon even sees in Sunhee.

"Well," Sunhee says then, clicking her manicured nails against her glass, "Minhyuk, what about you? Are you seeing anyone right now?"

"I'm not," Minhyuk answers, and involuntarily glances up to see Hyungwon's reaction. He looks rather unaffected. Minhyuk doesn't know what he expected to see.

"A shame," his stepmother says. "You know, dear, if you stopped wearing eyeliner and maybe picked up some sport, there would be a lot of girls ready to marry you."

Minhyuk feels like he's going to _combust_. "Good thing I'm not looking for a girl," he says dryly.

His father, seated at the head of the table, sighs. Minhyuk watches from the corner of his eye how he puts his spoon down and lifts his elbows on the table, crossing his hands and leaning his chin onto them. Minhyuk knows that position, knows that sigh. He starts preparing himself for the worst.

"Minhyuk," the older man says, gently. Everyone else has put their cutlery down as well, sitting guiet as they listen. "You know we only want what's the best for you. You're already twenty-three. Don't you think it would be a good time to maybe settle down and _think_ about getting a wife?"

"That's what I mean," his stepmother speaks again, "like I said, darling, the youth makes foolish decisions nowadays. I understand you've wanted to experiment, but _you_ need to understand that you're not exactly a teen anymore. Don't you think so, Sunhee? Hyungwon, too?"

 _Good god, they're already dragging Hyungwon into this,_ Minhyuk thinks _. If only they knew._

Sunhee nods enthustically. "I'm sure there are a lot of girls who'd be glad to marry you. I could even set you up with a few. Hyungwon, don't you think Jiwon would look good with him?"

Minhyuk looks up at Hyungwon. He's visibly uncomfortable now, blinking as he glances around the table but never really looking at Minhyuk. "I..." he says, hesitant, "I don't know."

"Really?" Sunhee wonders, looking as if she's completely oblivious, but Minhyuk can see under her act. "Maybe Haeun, then?"

 _Shut the fuck up,_ Minhyuk wants to say, but it's not like he has the guts to ever do that, so he just settles for, "noona, please. Just stop."

"We're just trying to help you," his stepmother says. "Don't you know you're making your father worried sick? He just wants you to be happy. We all do."

"I'm happy being like this," Minhyuk simply states, tired of having to go through the same discussion so many times already, and kind of in disbelief at the fact that they really would do it in front of Sunhee's fiancée, too.

"Darling," his stepmother presses, "you know you don't _mean_ that. It's not healthy. What about when you were in high school? That day when you came home, all bruised up-"

Minhyuk slams his palms on the table and gets up, knocking his chair over in the process. It hits the floor with a loud clattering noise, and everyone falls silent.

"I'm sorry," he breathes out, "but I don't want to hear this."

His stepmother, quickly recovering her shock after gaping at him for a moment, exclaims, "see! Honey, you're still traumatized-"

"Kyungja," Minhyuk's father cuts her off this time, "he must be tired after the trip. Let's talk later. Minhyuk, please pick up your chair and sit down to finish your dinner. Don't be disrespectful."

 _Disrespectful_ , Minhyuk repeats in his mind, feeling like screaming. He doesn't. He crouches down and picks his chair up, drags it to the table and slumps down to sit on it. The silence lasts for several more minutes until his father speaks up again.

"Well, let's eat up, now," he stops for a moment, picking up his chopsticks, "Hyungwon, I'm very sorry you had to witness this."

Hyungwon bows his head in response. Sunhee has her eyebrows knitted together next to him as she goes back to eating.

Minhyuk goes back to staring at his plate, his fingertips trembling as he picks up his cutlery. He crosses his ankles underneath the table, rubbing his feet together, and is barely able to stop himself from flinching as he feels them brush against someone else's - Hyungwon's. He stops moving, and Hyungwon doesn't pull his feet back - instead he seems to stretch his legs longer, until he has Minhyuk's feet in between his.

He doesn't look up when Minhyuk glances at him, focused on his food, but he keeps his feet there until Minhyuk finishes and excuses himself from the table.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
 _"What the fuck, that's so fucked up,"_ Kihyun says, in that very Kihyun-like way of his, his eyebrows wrinkled on Minhyuk's laptop screen. Hoseok is pressed to his side on what looks like their double-bed, shoulder-to-shoulder, and looks like he's going to cry at any given minute ever since Minhyuk finished talking. He's sentimental, like that. _"I mean, the Hyungwon-thing too, but your family? God, I can't stand that."_

Minhyuk shrugs his shoulders. He's sitting on the bed of his old room, at the very end of the hallway upstairs, with only the bathroom and the empty guest room nearby, so he dares to speak without the fear of someone overhearing their conversation. "I don't know. I feel like I should be used to it by now."

 _"No one should be used to that shit,"_ Kihyun grumbles, _"are you really okay? You know, we could grab the next train there and be over in a heartbeat if you need us."_

 _"Yeah,"_ Hoseok speaks up too _, "or a flight, maybe. That's faster."_

"You'd need to grab a cab from the nearest city if you booked a flight," Minhyuk says, laughing at Hoseok's bemused expression. "No, guys, really, I'm fine. Just wanted to talk. No need for last minute trips, really."

 _"We'll keep our suitcases packed, just in case,"_ Kihyun jokes as Hoseok grins and leans his head on his shoulder.

"I'm honored you two love me so much," Minhyuk says. He shifts into a better position and grabs a pillow that's leaning against the bed's headboard, hugging it to his chest.

 _"Better be,"_ Kihyun says. Minhyuk grins and plops his chin on top of the pillow. _"So, Chae Hyungwon?"_

"What about him?"

 _"Do you still like him?"_ Hoseok asks. Minhyuk can see the pointed look Kihyun gives him even through the bad quality of the webcam. He scoffs and casts a look at his closed door.

"I never _liked_ him."

_"Minhyuk, you cried at us about you two cutting ties like three months after it already happened. You can't tell us that was just you missing the glorious sugar baby life."_

"Well, it wasn't," Minhyuk says, inhaling deeply as Hoseok and Kihyun both stare at him, "but it doesn't mean I liked him. He was...a friend. Kind of. We kept seeing each other for three years, okay? I got used to his company."

_"Whatever you say."_

"I'm just baffled that he's seeing Sunhee now," he adds then, with a slightly quieter voice. Kihyun grimaces.

_"Yeah, that's definitely a downgrade."_

_"Is he really acting like he doesn't know you?"_ Hoseok asks.

Minhyuk stops. He thinks of the weird (but in a way, comforting) attempt of holding their feet together underneath the table, and shrugs his shoulders. "To others, at least," he says. "But that's understandable."

 _"He's an ass,"_ Kihyun says. Minhyuk frowns.

"He's not. He was my _sugar daddy,_ Kihyun. Do you really want him to explain that to my family? Because I definitely don't."

 _"He could at least admit he knows you, as a friend, if anything,"_ Hoseok says. Minhyuk glares at him through his camera.

"You're not helping."

 _"Hoseok is right,"_ Kihyun says, _"isn't it kind of an assholish move to pretend he doesn't know you at all?"_

"I'm pretty sure assholish is not a word."

_"-I mean, whatever, it's good that you don't like him anymore since he's a taken man, obviously. I don't want you heartbroken or anything. I'm just annoyed that he's acting like that. I thought he was better than that."_

"It's really not _that_ deep," Minhyuk tries to protests, but shuts up at the glare Kihyun directs at him.

_"Let us worry about you, okay?"_

"That sounds absurd."

 _"What Kihyunnie is trying to say, is that we care for you,"_ Hoseok speaks up, _"and we don't want to see you sad because of mean people."_

_"Basically."_

Minhyuk smiles at that, leaning his cheek on the pillow. "Yeah," he says, "I know. Thanks. You're the sweetest."

The two grin at him, and the conversation starts drifting to other topics, from a weird customer Hoseok had at work to wondering if they all should go get a haircut together once Minhyuk comes back and then to Kihyun cussing at their neighbours through the wall for having so loud sex even Minhyuk hears it through the microphone. It's ten in the evening when they finish and Minhyuk slams his laptop shut, feeling better as he pads out of his room to grab himself a glass of water from the kitchen.

Somehow, his mood drops again once he passes by the living room and sees Hyungwon and Sunhee hunched on the corner of the couch together, whispering about something with their faces pressed close. Sunhee has her hand in Hyungwon's hair, raking through it with her long, manicured nails, and Hyungwon has his arm casually draped across the backrest of the couch right behind her. The news are playing on the tv, and the lights are shut off, and it's all so _domestic_ Minhyuk can nearly see the two kids and dog playing together on the rug next to the coffee table.

The feeling he gets is sort of similar to the one he had when his father first told him he's getting married again and grabbed Minhyuk's mother's picture from on top of the fireplace, hiding it into a box that Minhyuk had to bring to the attic.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

The breakfast, Minhyuk finds, is much more pleasant than the dinner last night. His father is always quiet on the mornings, focused on reading the paper as he eats, and his stepmother is too busy, babbling about how she needs to do laundry before she goes out shopping. The only stupid comment he gets is from Sunhee, and it's to say that the shirt he's wearing looks like it's been bought from the women's clothing section (which it is, so Minhyuk doesn't see the point in getting offended. He just sighs at her.).

It also turns out that Hyungwon has not turned into a morning person during the year they went without seeing each other. It's obvious his hair hasn't been brushed, and he nearly dozes off as he's eating, leaning against the table with his elbows and blankly staring nowhere. Minhyuk hides his smile behind his cup of tea as he steals glances at him.

He's allowed to do that. To glance at him every now and then, to think he's cute. It means nothing but the fact that Hyungwon really _is_ cute and it's endearing to watch him. And Minhyuk is allowed to dwell in his memories, too, every now and then. He's in his childhood home, so it's only natural, even if the memories don't really have anything to do with his childhood.

At least most of the memories he has of Hyungwon are good.

"I have to do the laundry now, I should be at the centre before twelve so I'll be able to escape the rush hour," his stepmother announces, carrying her dishes over to the dishwasher. "Minhyuk? Maybe you could clean the kitchen after everyone is done?"

"Yeah," Minhyuk says, "sure."

He gets an approving hum from his father as the man gets up as well, folding his paper. "I suppose I could shovel some of that snow. I swear, there's more of it every day."

"Maybe because it is snowing, dad," Sunhee says. She gets up as well and takes her dishes to the dishwasher after her mother. Hyungwon still seems a little out of it, sipping his coffee while now staring out of the window. "Oh, honey, I'll be taking a shower, you'll do fine here, right?"

"Sure," Hyungwon responds with a raspy voice, and Minhyuk stares at him and then at everyone else as they, one by one, leave the kitchen.

It takes him a moment to realize that it's the first time he's alone in a room with Hyungwon, and when he does, he has to get up from the table and march over to the sink so Hyungwon doesn't see the redness that rises to his cheeks. He rinses his plate, and, rather loudly, starts putting the utensils in the dishwasher. It's supposed to help him distract himself from his thoughts, but frankly, it doesn't quite work. He wonders why it is that he can sense Hyungwon's presence in the room even if he's not looking at him.

When he does look at Hyungwon, he finds the older man still staring out of the window, his plate and coffee cup empty. He stands still for a moment, chewing on his lower lip as he stares, and then he thinks, _fuck it._ "Are you done?"

Hyungwon turns his head slowly, still leaning against the palm of his hand as he first glances down at his dishes, and then at Minhyuk. He opens his mouth, and then closes it, and Minhyuk raises his eyebrow, patting his foot against the floor like Kihyun always does when he gets impatient with Hoseok. "Yeah," Hyungwon says then, "I am."

Minhyuk frowns at him, and shifts his weight from one foot to another, hesitant. Then he walks forward, stops next to Hyungwon on the table and leans over to gather his dishes, as if Hyungwon couldn't do that himself. (Which he, by the looks of it, couldn't.)

Once he has the coffee cup balanced on the plate and the empty bowl on his other hand, he straightens his back, ready to turn around and walk away, but stops as Hyungwon grabs at his wrist. He nearly loses his grip on the bowl in shock, letting out a strangled, weird sound from the back of his throat as he does so. Hyungwon still doesn't let go, staring up at him silently as he struggles to get himself back together.

"What do you want?" he snaps. Hyungwon presses his lips into a thin line and slowly lets go of his wrist.

"Nothing, I suppose," he replies, bringing his hand to the back of his neck and rubbing there. "Just... I don't know."

"You don't know," Minhyuk repeats, stepping back to put the dishes onto the counter on top of the dishwasher. "Just like you don't know me?"

Hyungwon's frown deepens, and Minhyuk regrets his words immediately. He'd been the one telling Kihyun and Hoseok last night that it really isn't _that deep,_ so why is he even bringing that up now?

"I didn't exactly know how to tell that to them," Hyungwon says then. "Sunhee never told me your name, or anything, really. I couldn't really think when we got here and I saw _your_ pictures on the walls, you know?"

Minhyuk sighs and turns his back to him, putting the dishes into the washer and then organizing the ones that are already there, just to have something to do. "I know," he finally says. "I didn't mean to snap at you. This is just...weird."

"It is," Hyungwon agrees. He doesn't say anything after that, but neither does he leave. Minhyuk shuts the washer and clicks it on, washing his hands on the sink afterwards.

The big clock they have in the living room strikes eleven, and Minhyuk turns off the faucet, grabbing the towel to dry his hands. Hyungwon still isn't saying anything, and he huffs out a laugh that's really not a laugh, turning around to face him.

"What do you see in her?" he asks.

"Why?" Hyungwon asks, looking unaffected. "Is there a problem? She's your stepsister."

Minhyuk stares at him. "You might have noticed last night that we're not really fond of each other."

Hyungwon frowns at that, again. He taps the table with his fingertips and stares absentmindedly at the direction of the fridge door. "Yeah," he says, "that- it was kind of terrible."

"Kind of," Minhyuk repeats. Hyungwon shrugs his shoulders, and he heaves a sigh, shoving the towel down onto the counter. "Fine," he says, "have fun marrying a girl who doesn't accept your sexuality. I guess you haven't told her yet, have you? Or are you, like, one-hundred percent straight now and I was, what was it, an _experiment_?"

"Minhyuk," Hyungwon says pointedly, getting up from his seat, "you know that's not it."

"Which part?" Minhyuk asks.

"You weren't an experiment."

Minhyuk stays quiet for a moment. "So you really haven't told her," he ends up saying, and waves his hand lazily at the panic that obviously flashes in Hyungwon's eyes. "Don't worry, I'm not telling her either. I'm not an asshole who outs others, like she is."

Hyungwon falls silent at that. Minhyuk directs him a sharp look and turns his back to him as he walks out of the kitchen. His hands feel jittery and he squeezes them into fists as he stomps up the stairs, skipping every other step. He only relaxes once he's in his room, slumping onto his back onto the bed and inhaling deeply.

He promised himself, earlier, not to lash out or get angry. There's nothing to get angry about. _It's not that deep,_ he repeats his own words in his mind and closes his eyes, _not that deep._

Once he opens his eyes again, he thinks, _I have to get out of this damn house, and grabs his phone._

The phone rings for a long time, and Jooheon picks up at the exact second when Minhyuk decides to give up and hang up the call, which results in him having to call again. This time, Jooheon picks up right away, and the first thing he does is laugh.

" _Hey, Minhyuk."_

"Hey," Minhyuk says, somewhat flustered, "you picked up just as I ended the call."

 _"I figured_ ," Jooheon replies lightly. He sounds the exact same as Minhyuk remembers him. _"What's up, man? Are you in town?"_

"Yeah, I got here yesterday," Minhyuk answers, rolling over to his stomach. "Is Changkyun there?"

_"He's visiting his parents this Christmas. Been gone for a week already."_

"Really? In Boston?"

_"Yeah. Will be back January first."_

Minhyuk frowns. "I won't get to see him this time, then."

Jooheon laughs. _"Hey, did you only call me to meet up with him?"_

"Obviously," Minhyuk replies. He lifts his hand up and picks at the ring he wears on his left ear, staying quiet for a while just to listen how Jooheon laughs again. "No, but really. Do you want to meet up today? I've got nothing to do around here."

 _"Today?"_ Jooheon repeats. For a moment Minhyuk thinks he's going to decline, but then he says _, "sure. I'm feeling kind of bored too, anyway."_

"Bored, or lonely?"

 _"Hey, you and Kyun aren't the only friends I've got_ ," Jooheon protests. " _Still got my band."_

"How come you're not practicing with them, then?"

 _"Shut up,"_ Jooheon groans, and Minhyuk laughs.

"Yeah, whatever. Let's meet up when you got time. I'm ready whenever."

 _"How about I pick you up right now?"_ Jooheon suggests. _"Could come over with my bike, just like good old days."_

Minhyuk grins, so wide it feels like his face is going to tear in half. "You still have that thing?"

_"I got a new one, actually, but it's the thought that counts. Still dare to get on?"_

"You bet," Minhyuk says. He gets up from his bed and strides over to his luggage, grabbing out a pair of black jeans and a warm, white sweater. "Hurry your ass, then."

 _"Impatient ass,"_ Jooheon says, and then he hangs up. Minhyuk leaves his phone on the floor as he starts changing, feeling like he's seventeen all over again. There's a certain type of nostalgia to Jooheon's voice, one that Minhyuk can't find in his old room or in his father's Hyundai, on the streets or the café he used to go to. At the same time, it's one that, for a while, helps him forget about Hyungwon.

Just for a while, that is. His mind goes to the older man immediately once he's dressed, sitting on the floor while trying to distract himself with a game on his phone. He wonders what Hyungwon is thinking. Right at the moment, but also in a bigger picture. He still can't understand _why_ he would want to marry someone like Sunhee.

(He also kind of wants to know if Hyungwon thinks about him as much as he thinks about Hyungwon, but that's a thought that he furiously shakes off.)

It's only when he hears a harsh roar of an engine outside that he gets up from the floor and skids his way downstairs, almost running into his father on the hallway. He mutters a half-assed apology and proceeds to the hall, dressing into his shoes and jacket in a hurry.

"Where are you going?" his father questions, and yeah, Minhyuk definitely feels like he's seventeen again.

"Out," he answers, draping a scarf over his shoulders. Hyungwon and Sunhee peek into the hall from the living room, and soon, his stepmother is there too, a laundry basket in her hands.

"What's with the noise outside?"

"It's just Jooheon," he says, and doesn't miss the way his father exhales loudly and shares a look with his wife. He's already seen that way too many times.

 _"Lee Jooheon?_ Are you serious, Minhyuk?" Sunhee asks, and Minhyuk shrugs his shoulders, turning his back at them and striding out the door.

"Minhyuk!" his father yells after him. He grimaces, knowing without looking that they all follow him to the porch.

Jooheon has his bike parked in the middle of their yard, two helmets in his arms as he stands there, lazily leaning against the vehicle. He's dressed in all black, just like he always has, and his hair is a faded colour of red. Minhyuk feels like he's doing that on purpose - almost an exact copy of what he was years ago when they were dating. He almost expects him to say, _hey, babe_ , as he reaches him, but fortunately, it doesn't go that far.

"Cool Mercedes," he says instead, nodding his head to the direction of Hyungwon's car, and Minhyuk's cheeks heat up even though there's really no reason to (but then again, he still has had sex in that car, with its owner).

"It's Sunhee's fiancé's," he replies, grabbing one of the helmets for himself. Jooheon forms an _'o'_ with his mouth, and then shoots a glance over Minhyuk's shoulder towards the door. Minhyuk follows his gaze to see his father and stepmother there, along with Sunhee and Hyungwon behind them.

For one reason or another, he tries to see Hyungwon's expression, but the distance is too much for that.

"Minhyuk!" his father yells out again, and then he's making his way across the yard with only house-slippers on. Minhyuk stares at him in both disbelief and embarrassment. He'd thought his family already had reached their peak of ridiculousness. "Now, is this really wise? To go- it's winter. Look at that _thing!"_

He gestures at the bike, but somehow, Minhyuk gets the feeling that he's talking more about Jooheon.

"Don't worry, mister Lee," Jooheon says, grinning so his dimples show, "I'm an excellent driver."

"Don't," his father says, shooting a pointed look directly at the redhead, "I do remember you. Why is it that even in adulthood you can't leave my son alone?"

"I'm sorry, but somehow I feel like," Jooheon says, slowly, "I'm kind of not the one who should leave him alone."

Minhyuk's father is openly fuming at that point, but goes speechless regardless. Minhyuk stops himself from laughing and nudges Jooheon's shoulder with his own.

"Come on," he says, "let's go."

Jooheon grins at him, and then at his father, and then slips his helmet on and gets on his bike. Minhyuk follows after him, naturally wrapping his arms around his waist.

The last person he glances back at when Jooheon speeds away from the yard isn't his father, but Hyungwon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"So," Jooheon starts, leaning against the railing of the bridge and peering down, "the evil stepsister has found herself a man, huh?"

"Yeah," Minhyuk says. He leans against the railing next to Jooheon, their shoulders pressed together. The stream underneath hasn't freezed, freely flowing about. In the midst of the white snow, the water seems almost black. "That she did. Know what, I don't really want to talk about it."

Jooheon raises an eyebrow, but doesn't question him. He presses their shoulders closer together and tilts his head. "Is there something else you want to talk about?"

"Not really," Minhyuk says, kicking the railing with the toe of his black boot. "Tell me what you've been up to. How's the band?"

"We had a gig in this festival in July," Jooheon says. The proud smile makes its way on his face even though he visibly tries to suppress it, and Minhyuk grins as well. "It was cool. Otherwise, we've settled for bars and shit. Same old. The guys actually want to start a youtube channel, but I don't know about that," he laughs, "sounds exhausting."

Minhyuk smiles at that. "Don't know," he says, "maybe you should give it a try. I'd be your first hypeman. I'd show you off at my work and everything. I've got connections, you know."

"Sure, Seoul boy," Jooheon teases. Minhyuk attacks him, tries to fight him into a headlock, but ends up stuck in one himself. He stumbles as Jooheon drags him around the bridge, wheezing and laughing and trying to pull himself free with no avail.

"My back hurts!" he whines, punching at Jooheon's spine with one hand. "I'm too tall for this. You never put on any height."

"You never put on any muscle," Jooheon shoots back, but releases his hold anyway. Minhyuk groans, stretching his back and arms exaggeratedly, and Jooheon rolls his eyes at him, but softens right after. "Know what?"

"What?"

"I missed you."

Minhyuk stops on his tracks, staring as Jooheon leans back against the railing and looks back at him. His cheeks are flushed, but Minhyuk can't figure out what for.

"Well," he says, slowly stepping closer to Jooheon, "know what?"

"What?"

Minhyuk grins, stopping once he's standing in front of Jooheon, and presses his forefinger on the other man's chest. "I missed you, too. You should come visit me in Seoul. You and Kyun both."

"Kyun might be used to bigger cities, but I'm not," Jooheon says, and Minhyuk coos at him,

"Scared you'll get lost?"

Jooheon snorts at him and grasps at his beanie, pulling it down to cover his eyes. Minhyuk gapes at him, pulling the beanie back up. "I take it back. Definitely didn't miss you at all."

"Rude," Minhyuk huffs at him, attempting to style the beanie properly on his head. Jooheon laughs and reaches over, helping him. His hands brush against Minhyuk's forehead in the process, all rough, calloused skin from years and years of playing the guitar. Totally different from Hyungwon, but somehow, the gesture makes Minhyuk think of him anyway.

"You're such a child," Jooheon says, letting his hands drop to his sides once he's finished. Minhyuk rolls his eyes.

"Look who's talking."

The dimples appear on Jooheon's cheeks again as he smiles, and Minhyuk gets an urge to poke them like he used to do ages ago. He does. Jooheon swats at his hand.

" _Don't_ start. They're already ruining my image."

"You don't have one," Minhyuk says. Jooheon gives him a pointed look. "What? _Come on,_ you lost it years ago."

"Yeah, by dating you."

Minhyuk gapes, and Jooheon grins, and then they're trying to wrestle each other down to the ground again, nearly knocking Jooheon's bike over in the process. A car drives past, over the bridge, and the woman sitting on the passenger seat gives them a weird look. Jooheon flips a finger after them.

"You never really left your high school phase, did you," Minhyuk says, breathless after attempting to wrestle the other to the ground. Jooheon shrugs his shoulders and tilts his head, spreading his arms theatrically,

"I'm still full of youth, baby."

Minhyuk throws a snowball at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the updates might be slower after this since i only have one more chapter finished rn! 
> 
> also i feel like the pace for this fic is strange but!! that's because it was meant to be a oneshot lmao. i'd say the story only is starting out at this particular chapter. 
> 
> (+ at anyone who might be looking forward to flashbacks of mh's sugar baby days, you'll be getting those at some point because i just love that concept sm i already have some things planned out)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit shorter chapter this time, but hope you enjoy regardless!

It's six in the evening when Minhyuk returns home. They'd strolled the town together for hours, visiting school grounds and cafés and stores they used to go to, and even called Changkyun at some point, who seemed baffled at the fact that Minhyuk would already be back in Seoul when he returns from America. Then they'd gone on a ride outside of the town, the road dead silent aside from them, with Jooheon speeding and Minhyuk screaming at him to slow down even though he was actually having fun.

It was nice. Being with Jooheon has always been nice. Forgetting about Hyungwon was, frankly, even nicer.

But everything good always comes to an end, and so there Minhyuk is, standing in the hall and getting rid of his outerwear. The lights have been dimmed down, and there's a light sound of the tv coming from the living room. No one is waiting for him in the hallway to judge him for his decisions, which only means they will all do that in the kitchen once he dares to step his foot in there, and that's probably worse. He plays himself some more time by using the bathroom and spending an unnecessary amount of time staring at himself on the mirror.

His stepmother is just setting the food on the table along with Sunhee when he finally makes his way to the kitchen. His father is already sitting down, and so is Hyungwon, all four of them conversing about something lightly. It dies the moment they notice him.

He stops on the doorway, his mouth pressed in a thin line, and crosses his arms. "Hey?"

"Hey?" his father repeats, "that's all you have to say?"

Minhyuk grimaces. He looks down at his feet and listens to the sounds of the utensils clanking against the tabletop. "Why is it a problem that I went out to see a friend?" he asks.

"He's bad company," his stepmother speaks up. "You saw for yourself. Disrespectful and _stupid_. It's not smart to drive a motorbike at winter, darling. We were worried."

"Exactly," Sunhee says, "didn't you already learn this all back in high school? _God_ , brother, he's the reason your school life was basically ruined."

Minhyuk feels like he's really close to punching someone. Sunhee actually _dares_ to say that? That it's because of Jooheon, when _she_ is the one who outed the two of them and literally caused them to get spit and stepped on?

"They're right," his father says, "Minhyuk, please, stop seeing him. I'm sure there are better friends out there for you."

"Oh," Minhyuk says, bitterly, "now you want to control not only my love life but my friendships too?"

"We aren't trying to control you, Minhyuk. We are _guiding_ you. That's our job," his father says, calm and slow, as if Minhyuk was a six year old who was throwing a tanthrum in a store for not getting candy. "I'm not trying to stop you from seeing him. I'm just saying it would be better not to."

"I'm sorry, is there a difference?" Minhyuk asks, crossing his arms. His father frowns, and so does his stepmother, as she puts down the last bowl and looks pointedly at him.

"Minhyuk," she says, "you don't need to act like a brat. Like your father said, it's our job to guide you. Lee Jooheon is _not_ good for you. How many times do we have to go through this?"

Minhyuk inhales deeply, about to snap at her, but gets interrupted by Hyungwon clearing his throat. He blinks, shifting his attention to the older man in confusion.

"This is probably not my business at all," Hyungwon says, glancing at Minhyuk's father and stepmother, "but isn't Minhyuk old enough to make his own decisions? I'm sure he knows what's the best for himself and knows to learn from his mistakes, too."

Everyone falls silent at that. Minhyuk's mouth runs dry as he stares at Hyungwon, in something that's a mix of relief, gratefulness and probably something else too.

Sunhee is the first one to speak up.

"Honey," she chirps, sitting down sideways on her usual seat so she can face Hyungwon, "you don't need to defend him."

"I'm not defending anyone," Hyungwon states, looking at her with a raised eyebrow, and to Minhyuk's surprise, she doesn't say anything more on the topic, crossing her arms and huffing instead.

Eventually, Minhyuk's father hums lowly, looking down at the table before picking up his cutlery. "You're a smart man, Hyungwon," is all he says. Minhyuk blinks, staring as he starts filling his plate with food, still not moving from his place by the doorway.

"Of course he's smart since Sunhee is marrying him," his stepmother says. Minhyuk decides not to mention out loud that those two really don't correlate, and instead slowly makes his way to the table, taking a seat.

He kind of feels ridiculed over the fact that he needs to go on and on about the same thing over and over again, while Hyungwon only needs to say a few words and he gets called a _smart man_ , but at least he still got left alone. That's the most important part.

He meets Hyungwon's eyes over the table and mouths, _thank you_. Hyungwon gives him a small smile in response.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
Minhyuk has just got out of the shower, his hair still damp and the towel draped on his shoulders (and thankfully, finished dressing), when Hyungwon opens the door to his room.

Minhyuk stares, and Hyungwon stares back, and it's sort of awkward, but also, not really. Minhyuk slowly locks his phone and drops it down onto his bed next to himself, raising an eyebrow at the other.

"Do you have something to say, or are you just here to stare at me?"

It's obvious that Hyungwon gets flustered, his cheeks turning just slightly red, his eyes flickering around the room before settling back on Minhyuk. He takes a step forwards and closes the door behind himself, and Minhyuk pretends he doesn't imagine inappropriate things as he looks at him expectantly.

"I was just wondering," Hyungwon finally speaks up, pausing for a moment as if to think of the right words, "about how you've been doing."

Minhyuk blinks, tilting his head. "About how I've been doing," he repeats.

"Yes," Hyungwon says, shrugging his shoulders while casting his gaze down at the floor. "Since we... stopped meeting."

"Right," Minhyuk says. He watches as Hyungwon shoves his hands in his pockets, and suddenly gets an urge to do something with his hands as well. He ends up grabbing his towel and lazily rubbing it at his hair. "I've been just fine, I guess. Nothing big happened. I, um, I got a job. A full-time one."

"That's great."

"Yeah, it is."

Hyungwon nods, pursing his lips and taking a look around the room. Minhyuk follows his gaze and tries not to think of how empty it actually looks now, without his posters, stereos and bookshelves. It's so _bare_ it almost makes him sad.

"Where's Sunhee?" he asks. Hyungwon looks back at him again.

"She's speaking with a friend over the phone."

 _So I'm the second best option, then_ , Minhyuk thinks bitterly, mentally kicking himself on the face afterwards. _Of course_ he is. Sunhee is Hyungwon's fiancée. She should always be first. That's how it goes. He needs to stop being like this.

Nodding, at both Hyungwon and his own thoughts, Minhyuk gets up from his bed and throws his towel on the opened door of the closet that once used to be his wardrobe. "Anyway," he breathes out, glancing towards Hyungwon, "thanks again. I mean, even if you didn't speak up to defend me, it was still... helpful. It's probably annoying. You didn't sign up for stupid family drama."

Hyungwon hums in response. Minhyuk watches as he steps to the small desk next to the door and gently runs his fingers on the Chanel vanity case Minhyuk keeps there. "I'm used to stupid family drama," he says, "you just looked like you could've used some help."

Minhyuk keeps quiet for a moment, stepping closer to the desk as well while keeping his distance from Hyungwon, "so basically you _were_ defending me."

Hyungwon responds with a shrug and a small smile. He lifts the case from the desk and observes it closer, and for some reason, Minhyuk lets him. "This is starting to look a little worn. When did I buy it for you? Two years ago?"

"Something like that," Minhyuk replies, his voice nearly cracking at the end of the sentence. He casts his eyes down at the surface of the desk, leaning with his arms against the back of the big office chair. The position brings him a tad bit closer to Hyungwon, allowing him to catch a faint scent of his cologne. It's still the same one he used back then, and suddenly, Minhyuk's chest feels a little tight. "Do you buy stuff for Sunhee, too?"

Hyungwon stops for a second, freezing on his place until he blinks and puts the case back down onto the desk. Minhyuk looks at him properly again and raises an eyebrow.

"Sometimes," comes the answer.

"What did you get her for Christmas?"

Hyungwon sighs. "Don't do this."

"What?" Minhyuk asks, straightening his back as he turns around to face Hyungwon. "I'm just curious. Should I not be?"

Hyungwon doesn't answer. He crosses his arms and turns his back to the desk, leaning against it instead. Minhyuk stares at him for what feels like minutes, and then rolls his eyes, crossing his arms as well.

"Does it make you uncomfortable to talk about her with me?"

"Why would it?"

"You tell me."

Hyungwon sighs again. It's deep, long, and reminds Minhyuk of the day they decided to stop meeting each other.

That's not a good memory.

"Minhyuk," Hyungwon says, staring at him, "are you jealous?"

Minhyuk's heart jumps to his throat. His face visibly falters, and he takes a step back, huffing out a laugh that sounds way too nervous for his own liking. "Fuck off, Chae."

Hyungwon looks unfazed, staying still right where he is as he presses on, "are you?"

"No," Minhyuk breathes out, "I'm not fucking jealous. Can you please go?"

Hyungwon's frown deepens, but to Minhyuk's relief, he mutters, "fine," and steps away from the desk. Once he reaches the door, he adds, "I'm sorry," glancing over at Minhyuk over his shoulder before stepping outside and shutting the door after himself.

Minhyuk switches the lights off and climbs onto his bed, pulls the covers over his head and lets out a shaky breath.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> o h

_"Are you jealous?"_

_Minhyuk snorts, rolling onto his back on the wide bed and dropping the magazine he'd been reading onto his chest. "About what? That you used to bring your ex on expensive holidays?"_

_"Yes," Hyungwon says. The bed dips slightly as he sits down onto the edge, and Minhyuk's legs tilt to his direction, leaning against his back. Minhyuk chews on his inner cheek and lifts the magazine back on his eye level, a picture of a beautiful Greek island greeting him._

_"I'm not," he says. "I mean, I probably would be if we were dating or something, but we are not, so. I get the difference. I'm not jealous."_

_Hyungwon laughs. Minhyuk peeks at his face behind the magazine and raises an eyebrow. "What's so funny?"_

_"Nothing," Hyungwon says. He slips a hand in his suit's pocket and pulls out two pieces of paper, waving them in the air. "I guess then I'll have to find someone else to fly to America with. Since, apparently, you're not interested."_

_Minhyuk blinks, and then gapes, slapping the magazine down onto the bed and scrambling up into a sitting position. "You- what?"_

_"What?" Hyungwon repeats, his grin widening as he draws the plane tickets further away from Minhyuk. Minhyuk wrinkles his nose at him and grabs his arm._

_"Give me those."_

_"No."_

_"Hyungwon! Let me see!"_

_"No can do."_

_Minhyuk narrows his eyes, and goes to push Hyungwon down onto his back, throwing a leg over his waist to straddle him once he's succeeded. Hyungwon is still grinning, even when he surrenders and slowly offers the tickets towards Minhyuk._

_"Fine," he says, "take a look."_

_Minhyuk grins back at him and grabs both tickets to his own hands, bringing them closer to his face to examine them._

**_First class_ **   
**_From: Seoul, South-Korea_ **   
**_To: Los Angeles, USA_ **

_He stares at the tickets, and then down at Hyungwon, "are these real?"_

_Hyungwon raises an eyebrow at him. "What do you think?"_

_"I think you're trying to trick me," Minhyuk answers, looking at the tickets again. "I mean- you weren't really thinking of taking me with you, were you?"_

_Hyungwon sighs. He lifts himself slowly into a sitting position, and Minhyuk wiggles around until he's comfortably seated on his lap. "I still am," he says._

_Minhyuk stares at him, and he_ tries _to suppress the smile as the realization dawns on him, he really does, but it doesn't work out very well. He lets out a bubbly laugh, and then bounces on Hyungwon's lap to wrap his arms around him, resulting in both of them crashing down onto the bed together._

_"You're crazy," he whispers. "You're really taking me with you? Really? How long is it even going to be? Do you think you'll be able to stand my company for longer than one day?"_

_"It's for a week," Hyungwon replies, muffled against Minhyuk's hair. "I think I'll manage."_

_"So you are taking me with you?"_

_"I think it's clear by now."_

_Minhyuk grins, lifting his head up to look at Hyungwon. Hyungwon looks back at him, a lone strand of hair curled onto his otherwise exposed forehead, and Minhyuk pushes it back, burying his fingers in the blonde locks._

_"So," he whispers, "how should I repay you for this?"_

_Hyungwon smiles up at him, skillfully undoing the first few buttons on his shirt. "I have a lot of ideas for that."_

_"Let me hear them all," Minhyuk suggests. He rolls his hips, slow, teasing, and lets out a breathy squeak as Hyungwon grabs him by his thighs, flipping their positions on the bed._

_"There's a bathtub in our hotelroom," Hyungwon says, leaning down to press a kiss on his jawline, "it's a really big one. I think you'll like it."_

_"I love everything big," Minhyuk replies, grinning as he feels Hyungwon laughing against his skin. He hooks one leg around the older man's waist and pulls him closer, tilting his head back to give him a better access to his neck. "Are you going to fuck me in that bathtub?"_

_"Maybe," Hyungwon whispers, kissing down his throat and slipping a hand underneath his shirt, "if you let me."_

_Minhyuk laughs, breathy. "Hell," he says, "I'd let you fuck me anywhere."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyuk doesn't go for breakfast with everyone the next morning. Instead, he sleeps until late afternoon (the consequences of staying up til five in the morning) and shuffles to the bathroom dressed only in his pajama pants, a towel thrown over his shoulder and his hair a mess.

And, _of course_ , it's just his luck to run into Sunhee and Hyungwon in the hallway.

"Christ, Minhyuk," Sunhee exclaims at him, "at least put some clothes on."

"I'm wearing my pants," Minhyuk replies dryly, grabbing at the doorknob and twisting it open. Before he steps in the bathroom, however, he casts a glance at Hyungwon.

Hyungwon looks back at him, was already looking at him, his face faltering, and for a second, Minhyuk feels like his legs are going to give out underneath him. He tears his gaze away and clears his throat, almost unconsciously tugging at his towel to cover his chest before stepping inside the bathroom and shutting the door after himself.

"Oh, gosh," he hears Sunhee through the door, "ugh, just- just don't mind him. I told you he's a freak."

A short moment of silence, footsteps, and then Hyungwon's voice somewhere further away, "he's okay."

 _Okay_ , Minhyuk thinks, slipping his towel off his shoulder and throwing it on the small counter next to the sink. He gets rid of his pants as well, and then steps to the shower, flinching at the cold as the water takes its time warming up. _Okay._

He wishes he could understand Hyungwon better. What does _okay_ even mean? What does Hyungwon really even think about him? Does he still think he's _jealous?_

(And even if he were jealous, what is it to Hyungwon?)

Minhyuk sighs, rubbing at his face with one hand while shutting the shower with the other. He always thought Hyungwon was a little confusing, even back when they had their thing. He just couldn't figure him out.

This situation is on a whole new level, though.

There's a sudden knock on the door, and Minhyuk jumps, his foot slipping on the wet floor. He cries out in shock, grabbing at the edge of the sink at the last second, gradually sliding down to sit on the floor. His voice must have carried to the other side of the door, as the knocking repeats, a little faster this time, followed by a hasty call of his name.

And of course it has to be Hyungwon's voice.

"I'm _fine,_ " he calls out, cursing the situation under his breath as he gets up, stepping away from the slippery floor to the small carpet in front of the door. "What is it?"

"Oh, uhm," comes the reply. Minhyuk waits, grabbing his towel and tying it around his waist. "We - Sunhee and I - we're going to the town centre, and were wondering if you want to come along, or if you just need a ride somewhere, or something."

 _Oh,_ Minhyuk thinks, _just minutes ago you were talking about how I'm a freak or maybe okay and now you're asking me to come along?_

That's what he thinks, and he also thinks that he definitely doesn't want to sit in the same car with Hyungwon and Sunhee (especially not if it's the car that Hyungwon and him fucked in), but what he says is, "yeah, sure, I'll come."

Damn his mouth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh, and I was thinking," Sunhee speaks up again, pulling out a pack of lettuce from the shelf, "regarding the colours for the wedding. I read that coral will be in next year. What do you think?"

"Coral," Hyungwon repeats, staring down at the insides of the shopping cart as Sunhee delicately sets the lettuce there. "Sounds nice."

"I know. Do you think it's too basic if put together with white? I mean, I don't want it to be _boring_. A few years back, I went to this wedding with my then-boyfriend. It was his cousin's, I think. The colour scheme was _so_ dull. A dull colour scheme makes it seem like the couple is dull, too, and we don't want that."

Hyungwon nods, slowly. Minhyuk follows the exchange from the side with his eyebrow raised and arms crossed.

"Oh," Sunhee chirps suddenly, swirling around on her high heels, "speaking of my ex. It's okay if I invite him to the wedding, right?"

Minhyuk actually snorts out loud in disbelief, masking it into a cough right away and turning his back to the couple, pretending to scan the shelves with his gaze. Hyungwon doesn't say anything, and Sunhee starts rambling again,

"I mean, he's still a nice guy, but he's actually engaged now, too. His fiancée is a little bit of a bitch, but I suppose we can handle that. What do you say?"

"You can invite whoever you want to," Hyungwon finally says. Minhyuk turns around just in time to see the way Sunhee's face turns from a frown back into that fake cheery smile. Hyungwon is still staring at the groceries, his expression bland.

Minhyuk steps over to them, casting a long look at Sunhee, "I thought you hated your ex."

"You think a lot of things, don't you, brother," Sunhee snaps at him, swirling around on her heels and then striding forwards at a fast pace. Minhyuk shuts his mouth and looks at Hyungwon.

This time, Hyungwon doesn't look back at him. Instead, he sighs and starts pushing the shopping cart forwards, following after Sunhee. Minhyuk takes a moment before following the two of them as well.

No one says a word before they get past the cash register. Hyungwon pays for the items, uses his own card, and Minhyuk packs them, Sunhee standing to the side while typing away on her phone. Minhyuk nearly snaps at her, but he holds it in, settling for glaring at her instead as he struggles with the three bags of groceries.

In the end, Hyungwon takes two of them from him, his hand brushing Minhyuk's in the process, and Minhyuk pretends he doesn't get as flustered as he does. Sunhee finally lifts her gaze from her phone, lazily waving it in between two of her fingers as she looks at Hyungwon.

"My friends are in this café nearby," she says, twirling her hair around her finger, "I haven't seen them in a while, so I thought I could stay back to have a chat with them."

Hyungwon raises an eyebrow at her, tilting his head as if urging her to go on, and she sighs, rolling her eyes.

"So," she continues, "you can go and take my brother home, or whatever. I'm sure you're not interested in our chats. I can get a ride home from them."

"Fine," Hyungwon says, and then Sunhee takes her leave, her heels loudly clacking against the floor as she goes. A few other people go after her with their own groceries, brushing past Minhyuk and Hyungwon as they stand there, both staring at the door.

"Again," Minhyuk breathes out, "I don't get what you see in her."

Then he walks out as well, suddenly feeling as if the atmosphere in the store is suffocating him. Hyungwon follows him closely behind, silent as he opens the truck of the car, putting the groceries there, silent as the two of them get in the car, Minhyuk in the passenger seat.

On the way there, he was seated in the back, behind Hyungwon, and he'd spent the whole trip staring at his own lap in fear of looking at literally _anything_ else that could remind him of what went on a few years ago right on the spot where he was sitting.

Once he's buckled in his seatbelt and Hyungwon starts the car, he gets a very disturbing thought of _what if,_ involving Hyungwon and Sunhee and the said backseat, and he feels somewhat nauseous. But then again, thinking of the exchange in the store, maybe he doesn't need to worry about such things.

(Maybe he shouldn't worry about such things at all.)

"Hyung," he speaks up, grabbing his seatbelt with both hands nervously as Hyungwon doesn't answer, focusing on driving as he pulls out from the parking lot. He glances at the older, leaning back on his seat. "What now? Am I not allowed to call you that anymore?"

"Of course you are," Hyungwon replies. Minhyuk sighs.

"Hyung," he says again, glancing down at the way Hyungwon's grip on the steering wheel tightens, just a little bit. "What's the deal with you and Sunhee? I mean, really?"

"I don't really understand what you're asking."

"The thing just now. Does that happen often?"

"Sometimes."

Minhyuk frowns. He twists the seatbelt in his hands and looks out of the window. He sort of wants to question further, but at the same time, he doesn't. He watches as the scenery behind the window changes, the stores and apartment blocks gradually leaving behind. Aside from them, the road is pretty much empty.

"Hyung-"

The car comes to a stop, the brakes screeching as Hyungwon hits them full on. Minhyuk's body crashes forwards, only stopped by the seatbelt, and he holds his breath for a second, his heart pounding in his chest as he slowly turns his head to look at Hyungwon.

Hyungwon looks back at him, breathing heavily, slowly releasing his hold on the steering wheel. He reaches forwards, firmly grasps the back of Minhyuk's head with his hand, and Minhyuk stays unmoving as he leans in and kisses him.

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Minhyuk doesn't know what to do.

He sits still, his eyes wide open, holding his breath. Hyungwon's lips are soft against his and his hand cold at the back Minhyuk's neck - cold but _oh-so-wonderful_ and Minhyuk _burns_ with the want to close his eyes and allow himself to melt into the kiss, but he can't. It's not a good idea. It's the _worst_ fucking idea. Hyungwon is getting married to his stepsister - and she might be a homophobic asshole who Minhyuk loathes with all his being, but he's not about to get caught in between their strange relationship.

Why is Hyungwon even kissing him? Is it just something out of impulse, something that he'll label as a stupid mistake later on, or has he wanted it for longer? And if it's the latter, in what way is it that he wants Minhyuk? He can't possibly be holding any sort of romantic feelings for him, can he? Of course not. It could be a possibility if the two of them actually used to date, but that's not how it is, because they didn't have such feelings for each other.

Or maybe Minhyuk did. Just a little bit. And maybe he cried the whole night after they decided to stop seeing each other, and several other nights after that. But even so, that's just one more reason why giving in to the kiss is an awful idea. _Awful_.

But oh, he has missed Hyungwon _so much,_ and now he's right there, lips on his, holding him like that, and it feels so _good_.

 _It's just a kiss,_ he whispers to himself in his mind, and then he closes his eyes and leans in. Hyungwon's hand on the back of his neck relaxes in response, runs up to his hair and tugs gently, just the way he likes it. He shivers, opens his mouth to allow Hyungwon to slip his tongue in and grasps at Hyungwon's jacket with both hands. He feels so _hot_ and Hyungwon feels so wonderful and _Christ_ , he didn't even remember kissing someone can feel this good.

It's then that Hyungwon pulls away, just slightly, his hand still in Minhyuk's hair as they breathe heavily into each other's mouths. Minhyuk opens his eyes and meets Hyungwon's gaze, and his heart jumps to his throat.

"Fuck," he whispers, and then he pulls away properly. Hyungwon lets him, drawing his hand away and watching him silently, and it just feels all the worse. "Fuck," he whispers again, reaching down to unbuckle his seatbelt and grabbing at the door handle with the other hand at the same time.

"Minhyuk," Hyungwon breathes out, grabbing at his arm. Minhyuk swats his hand away and gets rid of his seatbelt, shoving the car door open. "Please, just- _fuck, wait._ "

Minhyuk ignores him, getting out of the car and wrapping his jacket tighter around himself as he slams the door shut. He's so _stupid_. What was he even thinking?

"Minhyuk!" Hyungwon calls out for him again, shoving the door open from his side and getting out as well. Minhyuk looks at him, his brain turning into full panic mode. He turns around and runs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Minhyuk runs. There are scratches on the palms of his hands from falling down onto the asfalt, and they are burning, his lungs are burning, but he doesn't stop. It's Friday evening, in the midst of June, but for some reason, the streets are completely empty and most of the shops he passes are closed. For a second, he contemplates stopping and emerging into the bar by the corner, but his father's friends work there, and that's the least thing he wants, to be seen by someone he knows._

_He trips over his own feet, and hastily throws his hands in front of his face to shield it from the fall. The asfalt is rough, unwelcoming, and he scrapes his elbows and knees. He wants to get up, but he hears footsteps running towards him, and he realizes it's of no use anymore._

_He hides his head in his arms and curls up into himself, and he waits for the laughter and the kick in the ribs, but they never come._

_"Hyung? Minhyuk-hyung? Fuck."_

_Minhyuk freezes, holding his breath as there are hands grabbing his arms, pulling them away from his face. He stares up at the figure crouching in front of him, and blinks. His face feels wet._

_"Changkyun?" he croaks out. His mouth feels like it's made of sandpaper, and his lungs are still burning as he draws in a sharp breath. Changkyun clasps his hand into his own and pulls him up from the ground, shrugging his unzipped hoodie off his shoulders to drape it around Minhyuk instead._

_"What happened?" Changkyun asks, adjusting the hoodie so it sits better on Minhyuk's shoulders._

_"I ran into the guys from my class," Minhyuk whispers._

_Changkyun's frown deepens. "Shit," he says, grasping Minhyuk's thin wrists with both of his hands. "Are you hurt? Should I take you to the clinic?"_

_"No."_

_"Do you want to go home?"_

_Minhyuk flinches. "No," he says again. Changkyun sighs, gently massaging his wrists with his fingers._

_"Do you want to see Jooheon?" he asks softly._

_Minhyuk does. He really does. He drops his gaze down to the ground and says, "he's going to freak out and blame himself for it."_

_"Oh, hyung," Changkyun sighs, again. "I'll call him."_

_Minhyuk doesn't protest. He lets Changkyun pull him to his side and wrap an arm around him as he dials Jooheon's number with the other hand._

_Jooheon does freak out. Minhyuk hears him over the phone even though Changkyun doesn't put him on speaker. He's practically yelling, incoherent words Minhyuk can't make out, barely giving Changkyun the time to actually speak. Once he somehow calms down, they agree to go to his house._

_"His family isn't home," Changkyun reassures once he has ended the call, "he was practicing with the band, but they are calling it off for today."_

_Minhyuk feels like a nuisance. He nods and lets Changkyun walk him down the streets, glancing over his shoulder every now and then, especially if he hears any sort of a noise._

_Jooheon is waiting for them in the yard, walking back and forth next to his bike, and once he sees them, he comes running down the street, pulling Minhyuk into his arms._

_"Babe," he whispers, "fuck, what the fuck did they do to you? Are you okay? I'm so fucking sorry, I should have been there with you."_

_He's on the verge of tears. Minhyuk feels like crying too, and eventually he does, sobbing against his boyfriend's shoulder with his body shaking violently. Jooheon holds onto him tighter, and with the help of Changkyun, takes him inside, makes him sit on the couch to check the scars and bruises on his legs and arms._

_"They're just from my fall," Minhyuk manages to choke out, "I tripped. Twice."_

_They take care of the scratches anyway, clean them with something that really stings, and then they make him drink a whole big glass of water. Changkyun has to leave home once it's ten in the evening, and Minhyuk is left alone with Jooheon, curled up against his side on his narrow bed._

_"I want to take a shower, alone," he whispers onto Jooheon's shoulder. The latter tenses up at his words and looks at him in concern, lifting his hand to brush at his cheek._

_"Why alone?"_

_Minhyuk doesn't answer. He regrets it afterwards, as panic flashes in Jooheon's eyes, the younger boy sitting up and pulling him with him._

_"What did they do?" Jooheon asks, taking a hold of his shoulders. It's firm, but not violent, almost desperate, and Minhyuk's chest aches. "Babe?"_

_"Nothing like that," Minhyuk whispers. He brings his hands up to clasp at Jooheon's own and swallows, staring at the wall behind Jooheon's shoulder. "Nothing."_

_But Jooheon doesn't believe him, and comes to the bathroom with him, gives a feather-light kiss on the corner of his lips and helps him undress. And Minhyuk sees the moment that he sees it, his gaze stopping just above his hip, the concern on his face turning into pure anger._

_"What the fuck," he hisses, pressing his hand on Minhyuk's skin, "I'm going to kill them."_

_"It's not that serious," Minhyuk whispers, but he refuses to look at that spot or even at Jooheon._

_"Assholes," Jooheon grunts, and then he graps his hand and leads him underneath the shower. "Come on, let's wash it away."_

_They rub at the spot for what feels like forever to Minhyuk, use four different soaps that Jooheon's mother has collected in the bathroom, and in the end Minhyuk's skin is red and a tad bit irritated, but free of the black marker._

_When they get out of the shower, Jooheon grabs a package of bright colored markers from his little sister's room and writes onto Minhyuk's skin with them, writes beautiful words, complete with 'I love you' and a big heart on the spot where the other boys wrote 'faggot' on._

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyuk only stops running once he reaches a familiar apartment block closer to the centre. The elevator is on the use, and he decides not to stop and wait for it, taking the stairs instead. His legs are burning and he's running out of breath, and he has to stop for a brief moment on the third floor, leaning against the wall while breathing heavily. And elderly couple come out of the elevator, casting a long, suspicious look at him, and he continues, pressing a hand on his chest as he does so.

He tries not to think of Hyungwon, but that works out just as he'd expect. By the time he reaches fifth floor, his head is spinning, and he's not sure if it's because of all the running, the stairs, or the thought of Hyungwon.

He stops in front of one door and practically leans against the doorbell, pressing his palm against it in exhaustion. He can hear it ringing inside the apartment, long, piercing, and then Jooheon's voice echoing over it,

 _"Coming!_ Jesus fucking Christ."

Minhyuk removes his hand from the doorbell, inhaling deeply as the lock clicks on the other side and the door cracks open. Jooheon's eyes widen as they land on him, and he immediately swings the door open properly.

"Hey," he says, reaching over to grab Minhyuk's hand and pull him inside the apartment. "You look like shit. What happened?"

Minhyuk heaves a sigh, leaning against the door with his whole weight once Jooheon shuts it again, not even bothering to take his shoes or jacket off at first. "It's a long story," he ends up saying.

Jooheon raises an eyebrow at him, steps closer and helps him get rid of his jacket, and then his shoes, kneeling down to untie the shoelaces. "Well, sunshine," he says, "you're lucky since I've always got time for you."


	7. Chapter 7

"Damn," Jooheon says once Minhyuk finishes explaining the situation, "you're really living the life of a drama protagonist, aren't you?"

Minhyuk rolls his eyes and throws a cushion at him. "Shut up," he mutters, "it's not funny."

"I know. I didn't mean it like that."

Minhyuk shrugs his shoulders and keeps sulking, squeezing himself in the corner of the couch. Jooheon sighs and moves closer to him until their sides are pressed together, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"Hyung," he says softly, "I know it's hard. It's a...it's a difficult situation. Especially if you do like him."

"I really do," Minhyuk whispers, giving in and leaning his head on Jooheon's shoulder. It's strange to admit his feelings out loud after denying them for so long. "I _tried_ not to, but now he's here, and he _kissed me_ , Jooheon."

"That was kind of shitty of him," Jooheon comments. Minhyuk would like to say he agrees, but he's not sure if he does. In the end, he did kiss Hyungwon back anyway (and it felt nice. Really nice.).

"And his relationship with Sunhee," he continues, deciding to leave the previous subject in order to keep his thoughts on track, "it's weird. And it's not because I like him and hate her. It's just- I just don't see anything genuine there, and that sort of a fight they had today, it's... I don't know."

Jooheon hums, comfortingly rubbing his shoulder. "You should probably talk to him about it."

"I probably should," Minhyuk says, even though he definitely doesn't want to. He doesn't even know how to face Hyungwon ever again.

He wonders what would have happened if he had stayed and not ran away. Would they have gone further? Or would Hyungwon have put a stop to it himself and told him it was a mistake? Does Hyungwon think, right now, that it was a mistake?

Does Hyungwon even think of it as much as Minhyuk does? Is it a big thing to him? Has he kissed other people before while dating Sunhee? Maybe he has. Maybe Minhyuk isn't really that special to him.

The thought of that _hurts_.

Minhyuk snuggles closer to Jooheon and sighs, closing his eyes. "Can you take me home?"

Jooheon squeezes his shoulder gently. "Right now?"

"No, not yet. Soon."

"Of course."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyuk's father's Hyundai is gone from the yard when Jooheon drops him off with his bike. Minhyuk stares in horror at Hyungwon's lone Mercedes, and prays to God that only one of his parents have left the house, or that at least Sunhee is home by now. That way, he wouldn't have to be alone with Hyungwon and face him yet. He's not ready for that - he didn't have the time to properly think of what to say or do.

Jooheon gives him a hug along with a pat on the back before leaving, and even after he's long gone out of sight, Minhyuk stays standing on the snowy pavement for a while. When he finally decides to man up and walk up to the porch, his hands feel sweaty and there's a hear rising to his cheeks, despite the cold.

His father's and stepmother's shoes are gone from the hall, and so are Sunhee's. He almost turns around and walks right out again, but stops himself, inhaling deeply. _Come on, Minhyuk,_ he tells himself, _you can do this._

He shrugs his jacket off his shoulders and hangs it on the rack on the wall, and then crouches down to untie his shoes, taking his time. 

"Minhyuk."

_Oh, just great._

Minhyuk tightens his grip on the shoelaces and hesitantly looks up, meeting Hyungwon's gaze from across the hallway. The eye contact makes his heart flip wildly, and he drops his gaze down, focusing on his shoes again.

"Where did my parents go?" he asks, trying to keep his voice casual. Hyungwon sighs, so loud it's audible to Minhyuk even with all the distance.

"They left a note to say they're meeting an old friend, or something," he replies.

Minhyuk purses his lips together and gives a slight nod as a reply, finally getting up from the floor to kick his shoes off his feet. He can feel Hyungwon staring at him, and takes a quick glance just for confirmation, nervously tugging at his sleeves.

"I'm sorry for kissing you," Hyungwon says.

It's sudden, but somehow, probably, Minhyuk should have expected it. He didn't.

Drawing in a sharp breath, he shrugs and crosses his arms. "I kissed you too, didn't I?"

Hyungwon frowns. "You did," he says, "but it's- I started it."

"We're not _kids_ ," Minhyuk says pointedly, "it doesn't matter who started it."

Hyungwon falls silent at that. Minhyuk watches how he shoves his hands in his pockets and nervously worries his lower lip between his teeth, his frown deepening. He wants to ask him more, wants to question _"why did you kiss me?"_ but he doesn't dare to, and so they're both left standing there, taking long glances at each other on the empty hallway.

"That guy," Hyungwon finally speaks up again, "Jooheon, was it? Are you dating him?"

Minhyuk stares at him, raising an eyebrow, "why?"

"I was just wondering," Hyungwon mutters, "since you went to him after that."

"And, what, did you go to Sunhee, then?"

"I didn't."

Minhyuk sighs, leaning against the wall and removing his gaze from Hyungwon. "Jooheon is my ex," he finally says, "we used to date in high school."

"Oh," Hyungwon says, and Minhyuk might be imagining or overanalyzing things, but it sounds like he's _relieved_. It doesn't even make sense, not at first, but then Minhyuk's mind is running in all possible places, in their short conversations during the past few days and the kiss, and then he thinks it just might make a whole lot of sense, and he's not imagining things at all.

Minhyuk uncrosses his arms and glances at Hyungwon, taking slow, cautious steps towards him. "Could it be," he starts, stopping in front of the older man, "that _you_ are jealous?"

He sort of expects a similar reaction to his own when he was presented with the same question, but that's not what he gets. Hyungwon looks at him, his face not wavering, and doesn't say a single word. Minhyuk wonders, for a second, if he should back up, but he doesn't.

"What?" he asks. "You're not?"

Hyungwon raises an eyebrow. "Should I tell you the truth, or lie like you did when I asked you that?"

"I- it's not-" Minhyuk stutters, frowning as Hyungwon's lips twitch into a small smile. "I _wasn't_ lying."

"Sure."

 _"Sure,"_ Minhyuk repeats pointedly, swirling around on his heels to flee upstairs. "Whatever. Forget I asked."

"I am," Hyungwon says, quickly, and Minhyuk stops on his tracks, inhaling sharply and turning back around,

"What?"

"You heard me, didn't you?"

Minhyuk stares at him, narrowing his eyes. He has questions - about whether or not Hyungwon realizes just how damn hypocritical that is, about in exactly what way is he jealous and most importantly of all, why - but he can't seem to squeeze them out of his mouth right now. And he's angry, but he's also not, because if he really thinks about it, he can still feel the lingering touch of Hyungwon's lips on his and it's awful but he likes it anyway.

"I thought about contacting you," Hyungwon says, his voice softening, "several times, during the past year. I really wanted to see you again, but it... I didn't want to bother you. I guess it would have been weird, anyway."

Minhyuk swallows, and keeps staring, and Hyungwon stares back at him. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes."

"Why?" he asks, wrapping his arms around himself. "For sex?"

Hyungwon sighs, deep, closing his eyes and dragging his hand through his hair. "No," he says, "not just for that. I really... It's weird, because I know how our relationship was, but I really liked you. I really _like_ you."

Minhyuk's breath hitches, and he digs his nails at his arm through his sweater, barely registering the pain as Hyungwon looks at him and repeats in a hesitant whisper,

"I like you, a lot, Minhyuk."

Minhyuk chews on his lower lip, lets Hyungwon step closer to him and carefully take his hands into his.

"If you're playing me right now," he finally breathes out, gripping tight at Hyungwon's hands, "if you're lying to me, I'm going to kill you."

"I'm being honest," Hyungwon says, and he sounds genuine, but it doesn't really make Minhyuk feel better. In fact, it feels like the complete opposite.

"I should probably kill you anyway," he says, huffing out an empty laugh, "I- do you even- _you're getting married,_ " he whispers, pulling his hands out of Hyungwon's grip. It feels cold, and he regrets it right away. "You can't just _do_ this. Why in the fuck are you even dating her?"

"To get over you," Hyungwon replies, and it sounds so easy but he looks almost desperate. "I thought I would never see you again, so I should be getting over you, and I _thought_ it would work. She was nice, and we clicked, at first, but..."

"But then you realized she's sort of an ass," Minhyuk finishes for him, even if he's still trying to process Hyungwon's words, the fact that Hyungwon is dating Sunhee to get over him, the fact that Hyungwon _likes_ him.

The entire thing feels surreal.

"Yeah," Hyungwon says, "and I met you again."

"Well," Minhyuk breathes out, looking at him, "sorry for ruining your plans, then, I guess."

"You're forgiven," Hyungwon says, and this time, it's Minhyuk who steps closer to him and brings a hand to the back of his neck, just _nearly_ pulling him in to a kiss.

They stare at each other, lips almost touching, and Minhyuk whispers, "I fucking hate you."

Hyungwon replies, "you wish you did," and they crash into each other at the same time, teeth clashing together in the harsh kiss. Minhyuk slips his hand up to Hyungwon's hair and grabs a fistful, and the latter hisses into his mouth, grabbing at his hips and pushing his back against the nearest wall.

"Fuck," Minhyuk chokes out, somewhere in between kissing Hyungwon and drawing away for air. Hyungwon rolls their hips together, completely trapping Minhyuk in between himself and the wall, and Minhyuk feels angry, sort of nostalgic and so _god damn turned on_ he's barely able to think.

"Min," Hyungwon whispers, " _baby_ ," and Minhyuk moans, tugging him into another kiss that ends up being just an open-mouthed, sloppy peck.

"Say that again," he commands, _begs_ , and Hyungwon laughs breathlessly against his mouth.

"Baby," he says again, and Minhyuk shakes, grasp at his arm and then at his shoulder, slides his other hand down from his hair to the back of his neck, not sure what to do with his hands anymore. A warm, familiar feeling pools in his stomach, and he presses their hips together again.

He was always fast to lose control with Hyungwon, and now, after being apart for a whole year, he's feeling almost ridiculously impatient.

"God," he breathes out, finally settling for grabbing Hyungwon's collar with both his hands as the older man starts grinding against him. "I don't think you- _oh, fuck_ \- understand how much I missed you."

"Trust me," Hyungwon whispers, slipping the hem of Minhyuk's sweater upwards and pressing his hands at the revealed skin on his waist instead, "I understand."

Minhyuk sighs in pleasure, allowing himself a quick, small smile. "Kiss me again," he pleads, and Hyungwon complies, immediately claiming his lips. Minhyuk slips his hands down to his chest and pushes his hips forward to meet Hyungwon's thrusts. They both groan, and Minhyuk is already _so, so close-_

A car engine roars right outside the house. They spring apart in the blink of an eye, with Hyungwon stumbling backwards as Minhyuk scrambles to the side with his back still against the wall.

"Fuck," Minhyuk curses under his breath once he starts coming down from his high, his mind clearing from its hazy state.

"Fuck," Hyungwon agrees. There are loud footsteps on the porch outside of the door, clearly the sound of high heels, and they turn their backs to each other, Hyungwon disappearing into the bathroom next to the kitchen and Minhyuk sprinting upstairs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they getting bold
> 
> anyway hey hit me up on twitter @kihyooms


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi sorry for the late (and short) update!!
> 
> things get steamy again

Minhyuk's head is still a mess once his parents are back home and he's called downstairs for another, probably traumatizing, dinner. Sharing an eye contact with Hyungwon the second he steps in the kitchen doesn't exactly help on that factor.

Sunhee basically leans onto Hyungwon as she sits down to her seat, cheerily chatting away with her mother as if nothing ever happened. Minhyuk's not sure why he's even surprised. Hyungwon is basically ignoring her, a blank look on his face as he scoops some food onto his plate, avoiding Minhyuk's gaze after the accidental eye contact.

That could be good, or it could be bad.

Minhyuk tries not to stare at him, but he fails, all of his glances lasting a bit longer than the previous one. He's nervous, so nervous he can feel it inside his stomach, as if something in there was making flips and cartwheels. He plays with his food, occassionally shoves something in his mouth, barely listens to the conversation around him until he hears his own name.

"Minhyuk," his father says, "are you not feeling well?"

"I'm just a little tired," he responds, mentally applauding himself for not stuttering.

"You woke up at _noon,"_ Sunhee says pointedly, giving him a suspicious glance. "How are you tired?"

"Guess I just messed up my sleeping pattern," Minhyuk grunts. He shoves a spoonful of food into his mouth, grimacing as he smears some sauce on his chin by accident. He barely has the time to even think of getting a napkin when one is already offered at him, Hyungwon's hand reaching over the table.

"Here," Hyungwon says, nodding his head as if urging Minhyuk to take it. There's the slightest smile on his lips, and Minhyuk blinks, taking a second too long to actually lift his hand and grab the napkin. Their fingers brush together, and he flinches and pulls back his hand as if getting an electric shock.

"Thanks, hyung," he mutters, wiping at his face. Hyungwon shrugs his shoulders without missing a beat.

"No problem."

Sunhee watches the exchange with her brows raised, a somehow displeased look on her face. "Oh," she says, turning to Hyungwon, "so you are his hyung now?"

Minhyuk snorts.

"Is that a problem?" Hyungwon asks back, his focus back on the food.

Sunhee stares at him for a moment, and then shrugs her shoulders. "Of course not," she says, "he'll be your brother-in-law soon anyway."

Minhyuk gets an urge to blurt out something stupid, like _his tongue was actually down my throat just a few hours ago,_ but decides, for the sake of everyone's sanity, not to do that (not yet, at least).

"Indeed," his father says, "it's great you two are getting along."

His stepmother hums. "Hyungwon is definitely good influence. You could learn a thing or two from him, Minhyuk."

Minhyuk holds back a snort and directs his gaze at his plate. "Yeah," he says, struggling to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, "sure."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyuk jumps, nearly shoving the toothbrush down his throat as the bathroom door suddenly swings open. He catches Hyungwon's startled expression in the mirror as he bends down and coughs, spitting the toothpaste in the sink.

"Why don't you keep the door locked?"

Minhyuk inhales deeply, straightening his back and giving Hyungwon a pointed look. "I was just brushing my teeth," he says. "Which, by the way, you probably heard."

Hyungwon shrugs, throwing a towel over his shoulder and leaning lazily against the doorframe. "I didn't hear anything, just saw the door was unlocked."

Minhyuk rolls his eyes and turns back to the sink to wash his toothbrush. Hyungwon stares at him through the mirror, his arms crossed and head tilted to the side.

"Should I get out and wait for you to finish?"

"I don't mind if you stay," Minhyuk replies, grabbing his cleanser. Hyungwon laughs lightly and steps further inside, pulling the door shut after himself.

"Would you have minded if I left?" he asks, making his way to the sink next to Minhyuk. The latter scoffs at him, squeezing a large amount of the cleanser on his fingers and smearing it right on Hyungwon's cheek. Hyungwon frowns.

"Gross."

"Gross? It's _cleanser."_

"Wash it off."

Minhyuk rolls his eyes. "I'll wash your entire _head_ in the _toilet_."

"Once again," Hyungwon pauses, inhaling deeply, "gross."

"Quit whining like a baby," Minhyuk mutters, wetting a cotton pad and stepping closer to Hyungwon to wipe the cleanser off his cheek. Hyungwon closes his eyes at the contact, slowly leaning to the touch, and Minhyuk pauses, the cotton pad and his fingertips still pressed against Hyungwon's skin.

_Oh,_ he thinks, watching Hyungwon, his fluttering eyelashes and full lips. He lifts his free hand and presses it on the other side of Hyungwon's face, gently kneading the skin with his thumb, and o _h,_ it's so _soft._

Hyungwon's lips twitch into a smile, and Minhyuk can't help himself, inching even closer to peck the corner of his lips. He barely manages to withdraw, when Hyungwon suddenly has a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him back to kiss him square on the mouth instead. A startled yelp escapes from the back of his throat, and Hyungwon laughs against his lips, massaging the back of his neck to make him relax.

And Minhyuk relaxes, leans in and slips his hands down, down Hyungwon's cheeks and neck to rest them on his shoulders, the towel there sliding to the floor instead. He takes a cautious step backwards and pulls Hyungwon along with him until his lower back hits the edge of the sink. Hyungwon's hands slide down to lean there, caging him in between, and it feels nice, warm, _safe,_ as they keep kissing, slow, leaning into each other.

He wonders how he ever managed to convince himself that he held no feelings for Hyungwon when kissing him feels like _this._ Most of all, he wonders how he could live a full year without seeing Hyungwon, when right now, even the _thought_ of letting go of him tears his heart to shreds.

"I should have called you back then," Hyungwon whispers once he breaks the kiss, the tip of his nose still brushing Minhyuk's as they stand there together.

"Or I should have called you," Minhyuk whispers back, breathing out a laugh. "I really wanted to do that, too, but- I didn't want to admit it to myself, since you're older, and cooler, and rich, and I'm just a brat."

Hyungwon grins, wrapping his arms around Minhyuk's waist and pulling him into a tight hug. "Shut up," he whispers, leaning down so he can hide his face in the crook of Minhyuk's neck, "you're my brat."

Minhyuk scoffs, but is unable to stop a smile forming on his face, especially once Hyungwon presses a small, featherlike kiss on his neck.

"Yeah," he admits, "I am."

He can feel Hyungwon smiling against his skin, and it causes his feelings to overflow. He wraps his arms tighter around Hyungwon and squeezes, clinging onto him with all the strength he has, and the smile turns into laughter.

Minhyuk glances at the bathroom door. It's still unlocked, free for anyone to walk in and see them like this, and it gives him all kinds of mixed feelings. He's been caught before, remembers his father walking in to him making out on his bed with Jooheon, and it had raised a whole _storm_ but it still wouldn't compare to this. Hyungwon is still Sunhee's fiancée.

Minhyuk thinks he should say something about that, to ask Hyungwon what they are going to do, if he's going to tell Sunhee, but instead he pulls gently at Hyungwon's hair and leans in to kiss his neck. Hyungwon tilts his head to the side in response, his hands traveling down until he finds Minhyuk's hips and squeezes there.

Minhyuk rolls his hips in return, enjoying the way Hyungwon's grip tightens and forces him to stay still. "Should we continue where we left off earlier?" he whispers against Hyungwon's neck, grinning cheekily as the latter's breath hitches.

"You're so needy," Hyungwon mutters, giving Minhyuk no time to protest as he grinds their hips together. Minhyuk lets out a startled, breathy moan, reaching behind his back to grab at the edge of the sink to steady himself.

Hyungwon works fast, his hands dancing on Minhyuk's body as he presses their hips together, breathing heavily into Minhyuk's mouth as they kiss. Minhyuk feels like he's on fire, his hand burning at the back of Hyungwon's neck, and he wants to whisper Hyungwon's name all over again, but he settles for just holding onto him tighter.

"I'm close," he breathes out against Hyungwon's lips. Hyungwon hums, slipping his hand in Minhyuk's pyjama pants and hooking a finger underneath the waistband of his underwear.

"I know," he says, and Minhyuk chokes out a quiet, pleading whimper in response, jutting his hips forwards as Hyungwon tugs both of their pants down, just enough to press their erections together. Minhyuk is already leaking, his pre-cum smearing Hyungwon's hand as the older man wraps his fingers around their cocks and grinds his hips again.

"Fuck," Minhyuk whispers, digging his nails in Hyungwon's skin as his body shakes in pleasure. Hyungwon lets out a quiet, shaky moan, rutting against Minhyuk and his own hand, and oh, god, Minhyuk is going to _lose it._ He presses his face against the crook of Hyungwon's neck, inhales deeply, and his legs shake as he comes, nearly blacking out from the intensity of it. Hyungwon follows, breathless, his body compulsing against Minhyuk.

They lean into each other, breathing heavily, Minhyuk inhaling Hyungwon's scent as he nuzzles against his neck with his eyes closed in exhaustion. Hyungwon brings his clean hand to his hair, pets and plays with it, and a moment later, reaches over to grab some paper to clean them up, tugs them both back into their pants afterwards. He's gentle, his hands are warm, he looks beautiful with his cheeks still flushed a shade of red, and they're both still coming down from their high, so Minhyuk blames it on all that when he blurts out,

"I think I'm in love with you."

Hyungwon looks at him, his hands still gripping the waistband of Minhyuk's sweatpants, and Minhyuk stares back at him, not sure if he should feel embarrassed.

_"Hyungwon! Honey!"_

Minhyuk inhales sharply, drawing his hands away from Hyungwon's shoulders. The latter slips his hands away from his hips, frowning, and they both cast a look at the unlocked door. Sunhee's voice is muffled, probably coming from her room in the other end of the floor, but still sharply drags Minhyuk back into reality.

He glances at Hyungwon, looking away as soon as the latter looks back at him, and whispers, "I'll go."

"Minhyuk," Hyungwon calls for him, softly, and he hesitates for a moment, but walks out anyway, pushing the door shut after himself and striding straight to his own room.

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so there's a short description of violence near the end of this chapter (the short section written in italics) so be mindful of that!

_"Are you done yet?"_

_"You asked that two minutes ago, and I told you to wait fifteen more minutes," Hyungwon says, probably attending to sound sharp, but the small smile on his face gives him away. Minhyuk grins in response, shrugging his shoulders as he drops his focus back onto his nails._

_He's seated on the carpeted floor in between Hyungwon's legs, his head leaning against Hyungwon's thigh as the older man scrolls through his work documents on the laptop in front of his desk, both of them only dressed in white bathrobes. He's painting his nails - he rarely does that, nowadays, only ever learned to do it in high school because Changkyun was into nail art and begged him to try it too, but Hyungwon caught him staring at the rows of nail polish while they were shopping earlier, and casually bought him two, not even asking him if he'd actually need it. But the colours are pretty nice, it makes him think about Changkyun and Jooheon, and he actually has something to do while Hyungwon works, so he's not complaining._

_"Can I paint your toenails?" He asks, waving his hand wildly once he's finished with it, trying_ _to dry the polish before he ends up touching something and making a mess. Hyungwon snorts at him._

_"You're so weird," he says, "but whatever, go ahead."_

_Minhyuk grins in victory, throwing himself into his new mission immediately, practically wrapping himself around Hyungwon's long leg as he does so. "What if I had a foot fetish?" he wonders out loud. He doesn't look up at Hyungwon, but he can definitely imagine the way he rolls his eyes at the question._

_"Well," Hyungwon sighs, "I dont kinkshame."_

_Minhyuk snorts, using his nose to poke at Hyungwon's knee since both his hands are occupied with the nail polish. "I was just kidding," he says, grinning afterwards and peering up at Hyungwon. "I totally would worship your feet, though."_

_"I'll keep that in mind," Hyungwon says, reaching down to mess with Minhyuk's hair and press his head back down. Minhyuk yelps as he nearly spills the red nail polish onto the crème white carpet._

_"Chae Hyungwon," he breathes out, gripping the nail polish tighter, "you are a crazy man."_

_"I've been thinking of renewing the carpet anyway," Hyungwon says, his eyes back on the laptop screen._

_"For the entire room?" Minhyuk asks, glancing around the wide bedroom. "Isn't that like, super expensive?"_

_"Are you implying I don't have the money for that?" Hyungwon asks, his other hand coming back down to scratch the back of Minhyuk's neck as if he was his pet. "Or that I only should use my money on you?"_

_"Uh,_ no," _Minhyuk says, tilting his head against Hyungwon's hand. The latter gives him a pointed look, and he flashes an innocent smile in return. "The latter might be close," he admits then, setting the nail polish down onto the floor to run both his hands up Hyungwon's leg. "You see, Balenciaga released these really nice shoes..."_

_"I've spoiled you rotten," Hyungwon sighs, but leaves his laptop and gives his full attention to Minhyuk, sliding his hands to his neck and leaning down to kiss him. It's an uncomfortable position, but Minhyuk smiles against Hyungwon's lips regardless, gasps into his mouth as he gently presses two fingers against his throat._

_"You'll get them for me?" he asks in a deep whisper once the kiss is broken and he has drawn in a sharp breath._

_"I'll get you the world," Hyungwon promises, tugging at his bathrobe so it reveals more skin. "Get up here."_

_Minhyuk complies, hoists himself up from the floor and onto Hyungwon's lap, shrugging the bathrobe off his shoulders. Hyungwon watches him, leans back on his chair as he runs his hands down Minhyuk's body, and Minhyuk allows him, sitting still with his breath caught in his throat._

_"You're fucking unreal," Hyungwon whispers. It shoots straight down Minhyuk's spine, and he shivers, inhaling deeply and letting his eyes flutter shut as Hyungwon pulls him into another kiss._

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyuk chirps his goodbyes to Hoseok and Kihyun through his web camera, shutting his laptop after the two have ended the call. He sets the laptop down onto the floor, and then slumps down into his sheets and closes his eyes.

He'd wanted to tell Kihyun and Hoseok about yesterday - about him and Hyungwon - but he'd chickened out at the last moment and rambled about other things instead. He's not even sure about what Hyungwon _wants_ with him, or if Hyungwon is ever going to tell Sunhee. Altough, by the looks of it, Hyungwon definitely doesn't want to stay with Sunhee, and he said he _likes_ Minhyuk.

That's something, already.

If only Minhyuk hadn't got lost in the moment and blurted out he _might be in love with Hyungwon._ God, he really shouldn't have done that. Now he seems too eager, too pressuring, too... everything.

He already has enough regrets on top of that, like the fact that he ever thought it would be a good idea to completely cut ties with Hyungwon back then. They wouldn't need to be in this situation if he had just said _something,_ if he hadn't deleted Hyungwon's number two weeks later while pitifully crying under his covers. Hell, maybe he wouldn't even be here at all, but somewhere with Hyungwon, in their own apartment-

Minhyuk inhales sharply, getting up from the bed and grabbing a sweater he'd tossed on top of his desk earlier. He slips it on as he leaves the room, stomps downstairs and heads to the front door. He can hear Sunhee's and his father's voices from the living room, discussing a movie with loud voices. Every now and then, his step mother pipes in, and at some point, there's a low, calming hum of Hyungwon's voice.

Minhyuk almost feels like he's standing in a home of a normal, loving family, and it feels strange as he stares at the familiar painting done by his grandmother hanging on the wall. Next to it, there used to be another painting, one his mother had painted in high school, but it was taken down and brought to the attic when Minhyuk was thirteen, along with all the other pictures of her.

She'd been swept away like that, forgotten.

Minhyuk grits his teeth and dresses into his coat and gloves, yells, "I'm going for a walk!" before stepping outside and shutting the door after himself. No one follows him, so he continues his way across the yard and down the street, hands shoved into his pockets.

Some cars drive past him as he walks, and he recognizes the elderly couple driving one of them, smiles a little and quickly lifts his hand in response as they wave at him. The others, he hasn't seen before, or at least doesn't recall so. He drops his gaze down to his feet, watches as he leaves prints on the perfect, smooth surface of the snow.

The distance between buildings gets even greater as he carries himself away from his neighbourhood. Eventually, he passes by the church, and slips in through the smaller gates that come after, makes his way down the path following the low hillside until he reaches the graveyard.

His mother's gravestone stands nearly in the center, snowy, only barely taken care of. There are candles on the others all around, even flowers on the snowy ground, but his mother's is empty, forgotten just like her.

Minhyuk crouches down in front of the tombstone, dusts the snow off it and swallows. He'd visited last year, on the Christmas Eve, only briefly with his father who'd also brought a candle to his own parents' grave. He hasn't been there alone in _years_ , and it seems like his father hasn't either.

"Hi, mom," he whispers, choking out a sob right after, his eyes filling with tears.

It's strange how he doesn't even have a single memory of her, and still he feels like curling up against the stone and sobbing there for hours.

"I'm sorry I haven't visited in so long," he continues, drawing in a sharp breath, "that I haven't come to talk with you. I guess I haven't really done that after I moved."

He pauses, taking a long look around the graveyard. There's no one in there, and the church seems empty and quiet as well. He changes his position, drops his knees onto the snow and sits down on his legs, reaching forwards to wipe at his mother's name engraved on the stone.

"There's this man I really like," he starts, "someone new, sort of. It's not Jooheon. You remember him, right? He used to visit here with me, he really liked talking to you too. He told you he's going to marry me." He pauses, laughing through his tears. "Well, he didn't. We broke up. On good terms, though, we're still friends. The other guy... I guess, if all goes well, I'll bring him here, some day. It's very complicated, our situation, you wouldn't even believe. I think... I think, if we start dating, dad isn't going to talk to me anymore."

He blinks, taking his gloves off to wipe at his eyes. His jeans feel damp from sitting on the ground, the cold snow slowly biting at his skin and making him shiver. A snowflake falls on the tip of his nose, melts there, and he wipes at it, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply.

He gets up from the ground after a moment, blinks his tears away and brushes the stone one more time, whispers a promise of bringing a candle and flowers the next time he visits. Then he turns around and makes his way out of the graveyard, puts his gloves back on and shoves his hands in his pockets afterwards.

There's a couple walking a dog just passing by the church, a young child also walking in between them. Minhyuk barely pays attention to them at first, only smiles slightly at the sight of the dog playing in the snow, but as they get closer, he meets eyes with the man.

His smile drops, and he involuntarily takes a step backwards, nearly crashing at the gate of the graveyard. The other man stops, staring at him in shock, and his wife and child stop as well, turning to him.

"Jaehwa," the woman speaks, "what is it?"

_No, fuck_ _,_ Minhyuk thinks, his breath getting caught in his throat, _not him, not now._

The very familiar terror from high school rises up his throat now, nearly makes him throw up, and he barely sees or hears the exchange of the family in front of him anymore. He wraps his arms around himself and starts walking, past them, faster and faster until he's almost running, and he's genuinely expecting to hear a yell or laughter after him, footsteps, to have something thrown at his back, and for a second he isn't even sure about where he is, almost runs into the completely wrong direction.

_"Hey, you two."_

_Minhyuk freezes, and Jooheon's hold tightens around his shoulders, his other hand grabbing at Minhyuk's own. "Ignore them," he whispers, pulls Minhyuk along with him, and Minhyuk_ _follows blindly, anxiety heavy in his chest._

_They don't get far, barely past the school gates, when the footsteps behind them quicken and someone grabs at his free arm, yanking him away from Jooheon. He merely gasps in panic, meets eyes with Jooheon, who turns to his tormentor._

_"Fuck off, Han Jaehwa. Let him go."_

_"Are you using informal speech to me?" Jaehwa mocks, his grip around Minhyuk's arm only strenghtening even as the latter tries to free himself. Jooheon steps closer to them, and Minhyuk watches in horror as two other boys grab him by the arms and shove him to the ground. Jooheon groans, and there's a kick directed at his face, and Minhyuk struggles against the hold on him, gasping out,_

_"Stop! Fuck, leave him the fuck alone-"_

_He's pushed down to the ground as well, his jaw hitting the asfalt so harshly he can feel the skin tearing open. He tries to get up, but someone kicks him, and he tries to see Jooheon, reach for him, but someone presses their knee at his back, knocking the air out of his lungs-_

Minhyuk crashes his body against the front door, presses the door knob down and stumbles inside, leaning against the wall to support himself. His heartbeat is ringing in his ears, and he nearly forgets to shut the door, barely remembers to take off his shoes and coat. He can almost _feel_ the way all the air left his lungs, the pain in his jaw and hands,  remembers the look on his father's and stepmother's faces once he stumbled back home, bruised and bleeding.

"Minhyuk?"

He looks up, meets Hyungwon's gaze, and inhales deeply, slowly stepping away from the hall. "I'm fine," he says, totally unconvincing even to his own ears, but he doesn't have the energy to even _lie_ properly. Hyungwon frowns, and he looks away, walks past him and up the stairs to his own room.

He switches off the lights, rips his sweater off over his head, and then crashes into his bed, muffling a sob into his pillow. He thinks of Hyungwon, of Jooheon, of his mother, of the child holding Jaehwa's hand, and the panic inside him grows.

The door to his room slides open, and he lifts his head from his pillow, blinking rapidly at the figure on the doorway.

Hyungwon shuts the door behind him and looks at him in concern, and Minhyuk feels awfully _embarrassed,_ sitting up on his bed and violently wiping at his eyes, still breathing raggedly.

"Min," Hyungwon says, slowly walking closer to him. Minhyuk draws in a sharp breath and draws his legs to his chest, pressing his hands to his face.

"I'm fine," he says again, his voice cracking as Hyungwon carefully sits down onto the edge of his bed. "Really, hyung, please, I'm _fine."_

Hyungwon only looks at him, eyes soft, reaches over to him to brush his hair away from his face. The small touch is all Minhyuk needs to break down, and suddenly he's crying again, digging his nails at the skin on his face.

"Baby," Hyungwon says softly, the bed shifting as he moves closer to Minhyuk. He takes a hold of Minhyuk's hands and carefully draws them away from his face, takes a hold of Minhyuk's legs and gently coaxes him into his lap. Minhyuk complies shakily, leans at his shoulder and keeps crying until he's hiccuping softly. Hyungwon cradles him into his hands, gently presses a palm on his cheek and another one on his hips, holds him like that, dries his tears, quietly lets him let it all out.

"I'm overreacting," Minhyuk breathes against Hyungwon's neck once the sobs quit shaking his body, the shame taking over again. "I'm sorry, I'm _so-"_

"Don't say that," Hyungwon hushes him, "don't. It's okay. You're not overreacting."

"You don't even know what happened," Minhyuk whispers, sniffling and closing his eyes as Hyungwon wipes the last of his tears with his soft hand.

"What happened?" Hyungwon asks. Minhyuk swallows.

"I saw someone."

Hyungwon hums, understanding, _too understanding,_ his grip tightening around Minhyuk just a little bit. "You're not overreacting."

"But-"

"You're _not,_ Min. It's okay," Hyungwon tells him, petting his hair. "Believe me."

"Okay," Minhyuk whispers. He lifts a hand to his face and wipes at his eyes, inhaling sharply. "I'm still sorry."

"Baby," Hyungwon sighs, holding onto his hand and bringing it up to his lips. Minhyuk watches as he presses kisses to his knuckles, his breathing steadying, the heavy feeling in his chest easing. "Don't be sorry."

Minhyuk presses his lips together, and then gives Hyungwon a tiny nod. "Okay," he says again.

Hyungwon gives him a small, relieved smile in return, presses their foreheads together, nuzzles to Minhyuk's cheek with his nose. Eventually, Minhyuk allows a smile form to his face as well, laughs quietly as Hyungwon presses a kiss on the corner of his lips.

"I didn't get to tell you yesterday," Hyungwon mutters against his skin, "but I think I might be in love with you, too."

Minhyuk's chest bursts with warmth, and he grins, nearly tearing up again. "Yeah?

"Yeah," Hyungwon whispers, turning his head a little to press their lips together in the gentlest kiss Minhyuk has ever had with anyone. Minhyuk smiles against his lips, lifts his hands up to Hyungwon's cheeks, and they stay like that, together.

It's then that the door slams open, hitting the wall, and the lights are switched on. Minhyuk snaps his head to the side and meets eyes with Sunhee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here it finally is
> 
> this is probably the longest chapter i've written for this fic hAha and god it's one big rollercoaster. also!! this is one of the last chapters, just so y'all know


	10. Chapter 10

 

Sunhee stays frozen on the doorway, one hand still on the light switch and the other on the air by her shoulder, as if she'd been flipping her hair back. Her mouth is pressed into a thin line, and her eyebrows are wrinkled, as if she was trying real hard to figure out the situation she just walked into.

Minhyuk suddenly feels horrible again. He'd wanted her to know about him and Hyungwon, had even wanted her to see them like this, but now that it's actually happening, he feels awfully _guilty._ He draws in a sharp breath and lets go of Hyungwon, scrambling away from his lap.

"What," Sunhee speaks, interrupting herself to let out a forced, nervous laugh. "God, I knew _something_ was going on in here, but are you _serious?"_

Minhyuk wipes at his face with the back of his hand and glances at Hyungwon as the latter inhales deeply, getting up from the bed.

"Sunhee-"

"Don't you take one step closer to me, Chae Hyungwon, or I swear I will slap you," Sunhee snaps. "You're _sick._ You both are."

Minhyuk presses his lips together and slowly gets up from the bed as well. Hyungwon sighs.

"I know I should have told you, I'm-"

"Told me what?" Sunhee cuts him out, crossing her arms while looking at the both of them. She looks actually _nauseous,_ her face pale and lips trembling. "What? Are you _dating?_ Together? Or just fucking?"

Hyungwon stops, looking at Minhyuk. Minhyuk looks back at him, equally silent. Sunhee scoffs.

"This is a joke," she says, "a _joke."_

"We knew each other before," Hyungwon finally speaks up, turning back to her. "Minhyuk and I. We stopped talking a year back and- I didn't know this would happen."

"Spare me," Sunhee hisses. She uncrosses her arms and then gestures at Minhyuk. "You like _guys?_ Better yet, you like that, that _thing?"_

"He's not-"

"He _is!"_ Sunhee raises her voice. Minhyuk and Hyungwon both flinch. "He's a freak! _No one_ likes him. Are you fucking out of your mind?"

Minhyuk inhales sharply, "why do you hate me so much?"

" _Why_?" Sunhee repeats. "Except for the fact that my fiancé is fucking you?"

"You've always had a problem with me!" Minhyuk raises his voice as well, biting down at his lower lip as Hyungwon lifts his hand to grasp at his shoulder. Sunhee stares at the movement with her eyebrows wrinkling. "And you _know_ what I mean."

Sunhee scoffs. "What? Did you expect me to jump in joy for having a gay step brother, or something? Don't make me laugh."

"You _outed him,_ Sunhee," Hyungwon says, his voice calm, but obviously on the verge of breaking into a yell as well.

"And you _cheated on me,_ Hyungwon!" Sunhee yells, slapping her palm at the wall beside the doorway and then gripping the doorframe. "That's what this is about."

"I know," Hyungwon says, "but you don't need to bash Minhyuk.

"Oh, _please._ You're just defending him now? He's a part of this too! He's my _step brother,_ and you cheated on me, with him!"

"It's not my fault he doesn't like you!" Minhyuk snaps, shrugging Hyungwon's hand off his shoulder. "You're a total bitch and you don't even see it!"

Sunhee looks at him with narrowed eyes, and suddenly, she launches forward towards him, leaving her place at the doorway, " _you-"_

Minhyuk scrambles backwards, his legs hitting the bed and causing him to stumble down to it, while Hyungwon shoots forwards, grabbing at Sunhee to stop her. Sunhee _shriek_ _s_ at the contact, swirling around in her heels and slapping the palm of her hand straight onto Hyungwon's cheek. The smack is _loud,_ and Hyungwon hisses, taking a step backwards and clasping a hand on his face.

Minhyuk's heart drops to his stomach, and he's up from the bed in seconds, carelessly shoving Sunhee from his way as he stumbles over to Hyungwon.

"Fuck," he breathes out and takes a hold of Hyungwon's wrist, "are you okay? Let me see."

"It's fine," Hyungwon mutters, but he lets Minhyuk draw his hand away from his face anyway.

His skin is red and irritated, and right below his cheekbone, there's a small cut, the blood smeared around it. Minhyuk's stomach churns. _Sunhee's ring._

"It's not that bad," Hyungwon says, but Minhyuk is already fuming. He turns around and looks at Sunhee, and she looks back at him, her chin held up with no sight of shame.

It's nothing new, and Minhyuk doesn't know what he expected. He still remembers being shoved and pushed around in the school hallways with Sunhee walking past with her friends, as if she didn't see anything. He's totally _used_ to her being like this, but somehow now that it's directed at Hyungwon, he's _furious._

"Are you _crazy?"_ he hisses at her. Sunhee raises an eyebrow.

"He deserved it."

" _Deserved_ it?" Minhyuk raises his voice again, and Hyungwon grabs his arm, stepping to his side.

"Min, calm down-"

"What on _earth_ is going on in here?"

_Oh, no,_ Minhyuk thinks. He pulls his arm free from Hyungwon's hold and crosses his arms instead, turning to the door. His father looks back at him, eyebrows wrinkled and arms crossed as well.

"Your _son,"_ Sunhee speaks, directing a sharp look at Minhyuk, "has been sleeping with my fiancé."

Minhyuk bites down at his lower lip to stop himself from snapping again, and quickly glances at his father. The older man's face twists into a look of utter disbelief as he slowly looks at each of them.

"Is that true?" he asks.

"We weren't _sleeping together,"_ Minhyuk mutters. Sunhee scoffs, and his father looks at him, stern, but most of all, disappointed.

"Hyungwon? Is it true?" he asks instead. Minhyuk swallows, looking at Hyungwon.

He wants to reach out and hold his hand, but he stops himself.

"It's complicated," Hyungwon says.

"Oh, fuck you," Sunhee spits out, "it's not complicated! You're just trying to make it better for yourself and him!"

"That's not how it is," Hyungwon says, and Minhyuk wonders how exactly he manages to stay so calm in this situation when he himself feels like exploding.

"But you cheated on her? With Minhyuk?" his father speaks again, addressing Hyungwon, and his voice has turned so bitter Minhyuk can almost _feel_ it. He chews on his lower lip and nervously clenches his fists, staring at Hyungwon's calm, beautiful side profile.

There's still blood on his cheek.

"Yes," Hyungwon says, and for a moment, Minhyuk is scared of looking at his father.

He looks anyway, and finds him looking at him.

"Minhyuk," he says, inhaling deeply in between, "how could you do this to your sister?"

Minhyuk's stomach twists. He drops his gaze to the floor and watches his toes curling against the carpet.

"I don't have a sister," he says.

He hears Sunhee scoffing again, sees from his peripheral vision how her feet move across the room to the door. His father's voice comes after, and even if it's calm, it's so full of _hatred_ Minhyuk visibly flinches.

"I want you two out of this house in five minutes."

It's what he'd been expecting, but it's not like that's going to make it hurt any less.

"I'll leave," Hyungwon speaks up again, and Minhyuk blinks, lifts his head to look up at him. He doesn't look back - he's staring straight at Minhyuk's father. "But Minhyuk is your son. He's had a hard time. I wish you'd be a little more understanding."

"Understanding?" his father scoffs. "What is there to understand? He has no respect for any of us."

"Respect is something that needs to be earned," Hyungwon says. "You haven't treated him very fairly."

"Oh, because you know _everything_ about fair treatment, don't you?" the older man grunts, turning his back to them. "Leave, before I do something I'm going to regret."

With that, he walks away, Sunhee scurrying after him.

Minhyuk's legs feel weak, and he releases a shaky breath, closing his eyes as he feels Hyungwon's hand on his nape.

"Min?" he speaks, voice soft and gentle, "I'll go get my stuff, okay? Will you be fine?"

Minhyuk nods, and Hyungwon's hand slips to his hair, pets there carefully. A kiss is pressed onto his temple, and then he's left alone, standing on his own in the middle of his childhood room.

"Get my stuff," he whispers to himself, drawing in a sharp breath and opening his eyes.

He gathers his clothes from all around the room, his charger and laptop, shoves them into his bags with trembling hands. This is it, he thinks, dragging the zipper of his bag shut, he's leaving this place for the last time ever.

He's never going to be there again.

He doesn't look back as he leaves the room, switches the lights off and pulls the door shut after himself. There are tears in the corners of his eyes, but he's not sure _why._

Hyungwon is waiting for him in the hallway, his bags packed, and somehow, he manages to smile. Hyungwon smiles back at him, small, but a smile regardless, and walks down the stairs with him.

Minhyuk remembers being six and tripping over his own toy cars at the top of the very same staircase, falling down and breaking his leg. His father had ran to him in panic, yelled at him before bursting into tears and cradling him into his arms to carry him to the car. ("Don't do that ever again," he'd said, "don't, Minhyuk.") It was in the middle of the winter, and he'd wrapped his own coat around Minhyuk in the car, had talked to him the whole ride to the hospital.

Now he's standing at the end of the stairs, and he looks at Minhyuk with his arms crossed, eyes dark and lips pressed into a thin line. Sunhee stands next to him, and neither one of them says a word, just watch as Minhyuk and Hyungwon pass by, Hyungwon with a bruise on his cheek and Minhyuk with his eyes red with tears.

Sunhee's mother is nowhere to be seen, and Minhyuk wonders how she's going to react once she comes home to find them gone.

They walk to the hall, put their shoes on, Minhyuk cradles his coat underneath his arm. It feels heavier than usual, and so do his bags, and truthfully, so do his own legs.

Hyungwon opens the door, and stops there, looks at him, and he turns around, looks at his father once more.

"Dad?" he speaks, and his father looks at him, but still doesn't say a word.

Hyungwon clasps his warm, comforting hand on his shoulder, and he swallows, tearing his gaze away.

"Fine," he says, "throw me away just like you did to mom."

With that, he swirls around and walks out, past Hyungwon and down the stairs of the porch, opens his mouth to draw in a sharp breath. His shoulders shake in response, and he thinks he doesn't want to cry, not _again,_ not _now,_ but he does anyway. The tears spill before he gets to stop them, and he rapidly gasps for air, his hold on the bags and his coat nearly slipping.

"Baby," Hyungwon's voice comes to him, one arm wrapping around his shaking shoulders, and he sobs, closing his eyes in embarrassment. "Minhyuk, fuck, I'm sorry, I-"

"It's not your fault," Minhyuk breathes out, shaking his head as Hyungwon tries to protest. "Don't."

Hyungwon falls silent, rubbing his shoulder as he cries, and the couple living as the neighbours come out of their house, stop at their porch to look at them. Minhyuk turns his back to them, tilts his head back to force the tears down, all the feelings down his throat.

"Come," Hyungwon whispers to him, and he goes, follows Hyungwon to his car, and they pack their things there together. Minhyuk climbs to the passenger seat, buckles his seatbelt and kicks his shoes off to draw his feet to his chest.

The neighbours still watch as Hyungwon starts the car and Sunhee comes out of the house, throws her ring down at the ground in the middle of the yard.

Hyungwon sees, but doesn't get out of the car to pick it up.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaand that's the second last chapter!!!


	11. Chapter 11

There's a podcast playing on the radio. Minhyuk tries listening to it, to distract himself from his thoughts, but it's difficult, and his mind constantly goes back to everything that happened earlier that day. He leans his knees against the car door and stares out of the window, at the fields and forests passing by. It's getting dark.

He doesn't talk, and neither does Hyungwon. They only spoke to each other earlier to agree on staying the following night in a hotel in the nearby city.

They didn't talk about what's happening after. Minhyuk doesn't want to think about it, but he does regardless, just like he thinks of the way his father looked at him before he stepped out of the house.

The podcast ends, and a song starts playing. Minhyuk is drawn out of his thoughts by the familiar melody, but he's not able to pinpoint the song's name or where he has heard it before, not until he hears the first lines, and his gaze immediately drifts to Hyungwon.

 

_"Spaced out, I'm left with nothing to do_

_Is this what a breakup feels like?"_

 

Hyungwon glances back at him and his lips slowly stretch into a smile as he returns his gaze to the road. "You remember this?" he asks.

"Yeah," Minhyuk says, and he keeps watching Hyungwon, pulls the collar of his shirt up to his face to hide the smile that makes its way to his face as well. "Obviously."

The smile on Hyungwon's face grows, and with that and the old favorite song of theirs playing softly in the car, Minhyuk doesn't feel like crying anymore. _It will be okay,_ he realizes.

He'd been the happiest when he had been with Hyungwon, when they'd been wrapped in each other's embrace on Hyungwon's bed, raindrops softly hitting the roof and their favourite music playing in the room. The nights when he didn't leave home after sex, because Hyungwon wrapped an arm around his waist and nuzzled against his back, whispering, _"stay"._

Not even Jooheon has ever been able to make him feel happier than Hyungwon does.

His family definitely hasn't. It's okay for him to go on without them.

The song ends, but the smile never really leaves Minhyuk's face. He leans back on the seat and watches the road ahead, streetlights flashing over the car. They still don't speak, but this time it's a different kind of silence, comfortable, _hopeful,_ even when they arrive to the city and there are Christmas decorations all around, couples and groups of friends passing the streets.

Christmas is going to be in a few days, and it will be the first Minhyuk isn't spending home with his family. But that's still okay.

The car pulls up to the side of the road, near a hotel Minhyuk has stayed in a few times before, and take most of their stuff with them inside. Minhyuk says they should put the cost of the room in half, but Hyungwon only gives him a pointed look and walks up to the register with a credit card in his hand.

"I'll pay you back," Minhyuk says once they are both standing in the elevator, going up to the fifth floor. Hyungwon looks at him and snorts.

"You won't," he says, "I can't allow that."

Minhyuk frowns. "Why?"

"I have the money," Hyungwon tells him, and then steps closer to him and casually intertwines their arms. It's difficult with all the bags they are carrying, but Minhyuk breaks into a dumb smile regardless.

"This is so dumb," he says, "I feel like a nobleman attending a high class ball, or something."

"You can let go, if you want to," Hyungwon says. Minhyuk presses his lips into a thin line, and after a second of pondering, only holds onto Hyungwon's arm tighter. Hyungwon laughs, "okay then."

"You're just warm," Minhyuk gives an excuse, adjusting his grip on his bag.

"Whatever you say," Hyungwon says, and Minhyuk doesn't look at him, but he knows he's grinning anyway.

The elevator comes to a stop with a melodious _ding_ and the doors slide open slowly. Hyungwon tugs at Minhyuk's arm gently and pulls him out to the long, wide corridor.

"I can't wait to have a shower," Minhyuk says, because he feels sort of nervous with Hyungwon so close to him all of a sudden. Hyungwon laughs again, and so close to him, Minhyuk can feel how his body vibrates along with it. He wishes he could be even closer to him again.

"You'll get there soon," Hyungwon promises.

A middle-aged man comes out of one the rooms a few doors over, and Minhyuk sees how he pauses and looks at them with a deepening frown. He bites down at his tongue and casts his eyes to the floor, and that's when Hyungwon holds onto him tighter and pulls him as close as physically possible while keeping on walking.

He wonders where Hyungwon ever got all his confidence from, if it's something that just came along with growing up rich, or if he ever struggled like Minhyuk still does, if he ever got ashamed over the looks other people directed at him. He'd been so confident years ago, too, kept Minhyuk by his side with his chin held up even though people looked at them weirdly, even though some people yelled after them - and they weren't even _dating._

Hyungwon only lets go of him once they reach their own room to open the door, holds it open so Minhyuk can step in first. Minhyuk does that, and only hesitates afterwards for a second before kicking off his shoes and dropping his bags to the floor to throw himself on the king-sized bed. The cushions are _magically_ soft, and he sighs, closing his eyes as he presses his cheek against a pillow.

"Didn't you want to take a shower?" Hyungwon asks as he makes his way further into the room as well. Minhyuk opens his eyes and looks at him, giving him a lazy smile.

"In a minute," he says, "I'm exhausted."

Hyungwon's eyes turn soft, and he sits down at the edge of the bed, slowly lies down onto his side so that he's facing Minhyuk. The bed dips just slightly, and Minhyuk's body tilts towards Hyungwon, but he doesn't try to pull back.

"I'm sorry for everything you've been through," Hyungwon says softly. Minhyuk doesn't know how to respond. He swallows and glances down at Hyungwon's hand, carefully reaches for them with his own and intertwines their fingers.

"None of it is your fault," he whispers.

"If I had said something back then-"

"Or if _I_ had said something back then," Minhyuk interrupts, looking up at Hyungwon again. Hyungwon looks back at him, pursing his lips.

"I'm sorry, anyway," he says.

Minhyuk sighs, but doesn't protest anymore. He returns his gaze to their hands, runs his thumb over Hyungwon's knuckles and smiles, just a little.

"I'm sorry, too."

"You-" Hyungwon starts, shutting his mouth as Minhyuk squeezes his hands firmly.

"Let me say this," he whispers, "everything. Okay?"

Hyungwon inhales deeply and slowly lets go of his other hand to brush his chin. "Okay," he says.

Minhyuk smiles again, moving just a little closer to Hyungwon on the bed. Their arms and knees are pressed together, and Hyungwon's hand moves to rest on his cheek, calm, comforting.

"I never really wanted to end what we had," Minhyuk starts, closing his eyes as Hyungwon brushes his skin with gentle fingers. "Or if I did, it would have been to have something more with you instead. I just thought it would have been weird for us to keep doing that- that it was for the better, so we could move on, so _you_ could find someone else to actually date you. And the next weeks after we'd called it off- I was so... I was so _sad,_ Hyungwon."

Hyungwon's hands twitch. Minhyuk opens his eyes to see him looking at him with an open, tender expression. He has to take a deep breath before continuing.

"When I found out you're engaged to Sunhee, I didn't know how to feel," he whispers, closing his eyes again to feel the warmth of Hyungwon's hand cupping his cheek. "I couldn't believe it. I guess I still really can't. It's just- everything happened so fast and I- I know I shouldn't have even touched you because you were _taken by her_ , but I just-"

He pauses, and Hyungwon moves closer to him, slips his hand to his nape. His grip is firm but gentle, and Minhyuk sighs, a sound somewhere in between regret and relief.

"No matter what, I'm glad I'm here with you," he finishes.

He looks at Hyungwon, and Hyungwon smiles at him, pulls him closer and presses a slow, soft kiss on his lips.

"I'm glad too," Hyungwon breathes against his lips, "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, Minhyuk."

Minhyuk smiles as well, kissing Hyungwon again with half-lidded eyes, and it's still slow and soft, almost _careful,_ but Minhyuk's chest feels like it's going to burst with all the emotions, with the want to forever hold Hyungwon close to him.

"I'll never let you go again," Hyungwon whispers, his hand slipping down to Minhyuk's waist.

"You better not," Minhyuk breathes out, closing his eyes as Hyungwon claims his lips again, the kiss more passionate now, with Hyungwon holding him tightly and pulling him closer. He holds onto the collar of Hyungwon's shirt, breathing heavily as Hyungwon slips a tongue in his mouth and graps his hip in a firm grip.

"Minhyuk," Hyungwon mutters in between kissing him, "will you- will you date me?"

Minhyuk laughs breathlessly against his lips, "I thought you'd never ask."

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's snowing in Seoul. Minhyuk scampers his way in between other people in the busy streets, hands shoved in his pockets with one gripping at his wallet. There are Christmas lights and trees all around the streets and on the windows of different boutiques.

He enters a jewelry store and quickly bows his head at the woman behind the cash register. There's only one customer besides him, and he pays them no mind as he slowly makes his way down the aisle, stopping every now and then to look at the different pieces of jewelry.

He doesn't have that much on him. He'd used a lot of money on buying a gift for Hoseok and Kihyun, and then on buying a train ticket to go see his family. He definitely can't get anything expensive, or anything extremely fine for that matter, but that's probably fine.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he pulls it out to see a message from Jooheon. Minhyuk spoke with him on the phone earlier on the drive back to Seoul and explained the situation. Jooheon had told him he's always welcome to stay with him or Changkyun if he feels like visiting his hometown again.

He called Kihyun and Hoseok as well, promised to meet them on Christmas Day. He still hasn't opened their present for him.

He types a reply to Jooheon and slips his phone back into his pocket. He's about to keep walking, but his eyes fall on a brooch set on the table right in front of him.

It's in a shape of a rose, silver with red stones embedded on the petals, and he stares at it, at the price tag, and with a small sigh picks it up and brings it to the cash register.

"I'll have this one, please," he says, placing the jewelry on the counter. The woman smiles as she scans the price tag, glancing up at him.

"This is one of my personal favorites," she explains. "A last-minute gift for a girlfriend?"

"No," Minhyuk says, flashing her a smile, "for a boyfriend."

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and this is the finish line!
> 
> thank you to everyone for reading, commenting and leaving kudos <3 
> 
> so!!!! if you follow me on twitter you might have seen me promising a small surprise with this final chapter, and here it goes; i'll be posting a prequel for this fic. it's going to be chaptered, though (most likely) shorter than this one. it will also be written entirely in hyungwon's pov. i intend on posting the first chapter this week, so look forward to that!


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